SHOHOLA, PA – Sitting on the deck of my sweet Kelly’s house and soaking up the autumn sun with two sweet dogs, hoping the change in locale and the luck o’ the Irish lass somehow rubs off on my selections today. To date, my Cheesy Bruin’s FREE NFL Picks have been, well… bad. Uncharacteristically and otherworldly bad, as the record reads like that of the NFC East winner this year: 7-8-1, after last week’s 1-2-1 effort. You’ll have to excuse my handicapping methods today but shaking things up on your behalf is what I’m all about.
FAVORITE
It’s another regularly-scheduled game being moved to Monday Night and don’t think the NFL suits aren’t loving these doubleheaders. Money, money, money! And money is what you need to put down on Kell’s favorite animal. She gambles on them and enjoys the track! How do I love thee? Let me count the ways! The Broncos limp into New England against the Cam-less Pats who are throwing either Stidham or Hoyer and if you saw either of them play last week, you’re taking the boatload of points with me. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. The Pick? Denver Broncos +11.5 over NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS
UNDERDOG
Kelly’s favorite color is purple. The only team primarily using the regal color is none other than Angry Ward’s Vikings. Even after holding on for dear life against the hapless Texans, who couldn’t wait to rid themselves of Bill O’Brien the following day, the Purple People Eaters are due for a tremendous effort. KellyAnn’s lucky number is 8 and only Kirk Cousins can f**k this up as a double best bet against the Seahawks. But he won’t! I can see Dalvin Cook slowing the pace to where the inept signal caller becomes a game manager only. Expect a decent dose of Alexander Mattison who has been used sparingly thus far, too. We’re getting a handful of points but we may not even need them if you believe in the Irish. The Pick? Minnesota Vikings +7 over SEATTLE SEAHAWKS
OVER
When I asked my lady, “Where is your favorite domestic vacation spot?” she responded, “the Carolinas.” While I’m not sure how to work this in for a selection, maybe the Carolina Panthers and their opponent find their way to the end zone as many times as Kelly has visited (and “scored” herself?) these sandy shores. Just throwing a dart here but it sounds manageable. The Pick? Carolina/ATLANTA OVER 54
UNDER
Some people are allergic to seafood, while others don’t particularly care for it for whatever unbelievable reason. It’s said that fish rot from the head down and the Miami Dolphins (I know, I know. It’s a mammal) are decomposing early for the second straight year. It’s not head coach Brian Flores but the education/healing of Tua Tagoviloa that’s keeping Ryan No Fitzmagic on the field. Even for the proud Irish they can’t bear to watch him. Things were on course last week for the under until the 4th quarter rolled around and blew that game up. Here’s hoping for a stinker. The Pick? Miami/SAN FRANCISCO UNDER 50.5
That’s it for these, comment below and leave your picks/thoughts and come back tomorrow for the tortured Jets fan living in Buffalo, Sports Rain Man – Junoir Blaber.
