NIAGARA FALLS, NY – Well, here we are. Another Monday. another chance for New York sports teams to either thrill us or crush our souls. Normally, I’d be breaking down the Mets, Knicks, and Rangers like clockwork, but today? Today’s one of those weird weeks where the sports calendar decides to mess with us. So instead of the usual trio, we’re mixing it up. Don’t worry, we’ll still hit three topics—just not the ones you might expect. Buckle up for today’s topics.: NCAA B-Ball Championship, The Great Ovi and 9/9/9.
NCAA Women’s Basketball Championship
Well, well, well… if you missed the UConn women’s basketball team absolutely owning the court this weekend, let me paint you a picture: it was like watching a masterclass in revenge basketball. The Huskies didn’t just beat South Carolina—the reigning champs—they dismantled them. And no, this wasn’t a case of the Gamecocks [giggle] forgetting to show up. This was UConn playing with a level of focus that said, “Remember last year? Yeah, we do too.”
What Happened?
- UConn came to play. From the jump, they were locked in—crisp passes, suffocating defense, and shots falling like they had a personal grudge against the rim.
- South Carolina? Not bad… just outmatched. This wasn’t a collapse by the Gamecocks; it was a statement by the Huskies. By the second half, UConn was up by 35—yeah, you read that right.
- Revenge tour complete. After last year’s heartbreak, this win wasn’t just about a title—it was about pride. And man, did they deliver.
The Great Ovi
Alex Ovechkin skating past Wayne Gretzky’s all-time goals record, and doing it with the kind of grace that reminds us why we love sports. Let’s be real: debates about “GOAT status” will rage forever. If you grew up watching Gretzky redefine hockey in the ’80s (like me, albeit during his later years), that magic sticks with you. But here’s what’s undeniable: Ovi earned this.
What makes Ovi Special?
- Pure, Unstoppable Offense: Ovechkin wasn’t some two-way darling—he was a force of nature with a one-track mind: score. That shot? A cheat code.
- Class Act: No trash talk, no ego—just relentless work. Even Gretzky showed up to hand him the torch, an incredible moment to witness
- The Fluery Gesture: Typical Ovi. He made sure his teammates saluted Minnesota goalie (and retiring legend) Marc-Andre Fleury after Fleury’s game against the Caps – as Fleury is retiring. A move so respect-heavy, that everyone was tipping their caps to the Caps.
The Gretzky Factor
Yes, Gretzky’s era was different (no 6’3″, 235-pound freaks skating like trains). But records are made to fall, and if anyone was built to chase The Great One, it was the guy who turned the “office” (left circle) into his personal throne room.
Bottom Line: Ovechkin’s legacy isn’t just goals—it’s proving you can be a lethal scorer and a stand-up guy. Hockey’s lucky to have him.
Now, back to pretending the Rangers’ playoff hopes aren’t giving me heartburn
The 9/9/9 Challenge
The latest sports craze making the rounds isn’t for the faint of heart—it’s called the *9/9/9 Challenge, and it’s as brutal as it sounds. The goal? Consume 9 hot dogs and 9 beers in just 9 innings. While it may not be as reckless as the Tide Pod fiasco, this is still an extreme test of both stomach capacity and willpower.
Breaking Down the Challenge
– The Rules: One hot dog and one beer per innings for nine straight innings. No shortcuts, no breaks.
– The Reality: Most who attempt it fail miserably. The combination of rapid eating and drinking is a recipe for disaster (or at least a very long nap).
Who Could Possibly Pull This Off?
Looking around, few seem up to the task:
– The Sternberg Twins: Their freakish metabolisms of barely being 21 might help, but nine beers in nine innings? Doubtful.
– Mr. Short Matt: Eliminated immediately—he can’t hold his drink, plus the lovely Mrs. Short Matt is a Vegan. No one should suffer through nine vegan hot dogs.
– Tall Matt: Maybe the hot dogs, but the beer would be his downfall.
– Buddy Diaz: Never seen him drink—hard pass.
– The too old group: This group is like the Toby Keith song, “ain’t as good as I once was.” This group encompasses, myself, Angry Ward, Ben Whitney and Cheesy Bruin
That leaves JG Clancy, our dark horse contender. A true old-school food warrior, Clancy doesn’t just eat—he conquers, Need a hidden gem lunch spot for $10 in an unknown neighborhood? He’ll direct you to a hole-in-the-wall with a secret menu item. If anyone can strategize this madness, it’s him.
The Cost Factor
– At a Stadium: $250–$300 (plus potential medical bills).
– At Home: ~$30 (and dignity intact).
– At a Bar: ~$100 (plus spectators’ horror).
Final Verdict
This isn’t just a challenge—it’s a stomach-churning gauntlet. Clancy, the clock is ticking. The 9/9/9 awaits.
Please comment below. Catch you next week—same time, same questionable sports takes. Ben Whitney is up tomorrow and I don’t think he would argue with being in the too old group.
