ARLINGTON, TX – This year’s World Series certainly is one of the better ones we’ve had in a while. The Rangers go for their first title tomorrow but if the Cards can win two at home they will be improbable champs. We always love to hear from Jerry Manuel around here and what better time than during the World Series. Last year I gave you the first installment of Deep Thoughts by Jerry Manuel. Jerry has been away from the game for one full year now and he wanted to come back and impart some more wisdom to our loyal MeetTheMatts readers.
“They say ‘baseball is a funny game.’ I guess that is why everybody in New York was laughing at my decisions as Mets manager. But in all honesty, I still think Pictionary is a much funnier game.”
“Josh Hamilton claims that God was testing him with drugs and alcohol during his early playing days in the Tampa Rays farm system. I say if God really wanted to test him he would have had some guy die while trying to grab a ball he tossed into the stands or something. Oh wait, on second thought maybe he should have just given him a calculus test. Nobody likes complicated math tests.”
“I don’t like rumors. They can be very dangerous. For instance my old boss Omar Minaya is rumored to be a finalist for the Angels General Manager position. That would be very dangerous for the Angels and their fans.”
“The secret to Tony LaRussa’s success is he knows how to manufacture runs. That and he also knows how to manufacture steroids.”
“After hearing a few Red Sox players admit that they were drinking beer in the clubhouse during games, Joe Torre is now looking into banning alcohol in all major league clubhouses. That would be a shame. What player is going to show up at my famous all you can drink 5 – 7 p.m. clubhouse happy hour if I don’t serve alcohol?”
“My Uncle Clarence is a doctor who got reprimanded at work because he tried to liven things up by using homerun calls like “kiss that baby goodbye” and “it’s outta here” during boring operations. I guess the people who work with him at the abortion clinic don’t like baseball homerun calls that much.”
“My good friend Ron Washington is having so much fun managing in this year’s World Series. My mother commented to me that she can’t remember the last time she saw him this excited. It’s a shame because she was right there with him on The Price Is Right the last time he was this excited. Maybe I should have her checked out for early onset dementia.”
Remember to stay tuned tomorrow for someone to get really excited about, Angry Ward.
