Author Archive for The Matts
Crazy Sports Stars You’d Want On Your Team. Manny? Tyson? The Worm?
NEW YORK, NY – Cue Rod Serling saying, “Imagine if you will…” and then realize you’re here, in Mattville, where the surreal becomes truth. Where lines are blurred and the unbelievable takes hold… Imagine if you will a world without any of your favorite teams playing anything last night, today, tomorrow or possibly… ever again. […]
Real Reasons Why The Mets Will Win The World Series
NEW YORK, NY – Having already passed the urine test, yours truly only has residual hallucinogenics coursing through his/her veins. But here are Real Reasons Why The Mets Will Win The World Series: Too Cheap To Cheat: This is not a reason, granted, but it’s an important component as per the chatter these days. Exhale: […]
Sign Stealing: How Much Does It Matter?
“Houston, we’ve had a problem here.” – John (“Jack”) Swigert NEW YORK, NY – The above quote is the actual representation of the oft-used historic phrase used in the Apollo 13 mission for NASA. Jim Lovell, when asked to repeat what Swigert had just said by Ground Control, said “Uh, Houston, we’ve had a problem.” […]
Merry and Happy Everything All
NEW YORK, NY – As the MTM Staff exhales for the Holidays today, we just wanted to take a minute and THANK YOU for your support. Happy Hanukah and Merry Christmas.
Sports in 2023: $$$Sickening MLB Contracts Vs Beer Money, Fan Attendance
NEW YORK, NY – Four years from now, in a town about 35 miles beyond the Yankee Stadium Affordable Zone, the following conversation will likely be held between MeetTheMatts.com alumni/current staff, looking back on the $$$Sickening MLB Contracts signed way back in 2019: Junoir Blaber: [Half-paying attention while typing on very old Blackberry] Hey man, […]
OJ Simpson Back In The Limelight. The Juice Squeezed in Vegas
LAS VEGAS, NV – With fatherhood turning his days into seconds, his sleep-time into blinks of an eye and his coffee intake reaching into the gallons per day, a beleaguered Junoir Blaber is up against it. So yours truly, great American, is here to bail Mr. Blaber out of pundit responsibilities today. Speaking getting of […]
Sports Monday Morsels: Giants Game Plan, Neon Deion, No-Trade Brodie, Saints Damned
NEW YORK, NY – It’s a happy Monday for some and a not-so-happy Monday for others, depending how your teams fared. Looking back in retrospect is easy, right? Something about hindsight and next year? (2020, folks) Well, since Monday morning quarterbacking is a specialty here, let’s redigest some what the weekend served as per today’s […]
MLB Wild Card Hunt: Manager Moves, Joe Girardi, Wally Backman, Mickey Callaway, Custer and Revere?
CHELSEA, NYC – Working on the set of a popular major network cop show last night as a Special Effects guy making smoke and wetting down W27th Street, made keeping up with the MLB Wild Card hunt a tad difficult. And as a charter chugger of the Jonestown-like Kool-Aid us weak-willed Mets fans gulp at […]
Blockbuster Blackout MLB Trades You May Not Know Of
NEW YORK, NY – For those of you just stirring from a coma or hiding in a fallout shelter, there was a Big Apple blackout last night. And boy did things get a little crazy. Many were doing their best Snake Plissken impersonation, as traffic signals made any Escape From New York simultaneously necessary, yet […]
Fans Hold Their Breath as Cowboys Cough, 49ers Sneeze – Except In Tulsa
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Perhaps still subconsciously motivated to not be be outdone and/or whatever the Dallas Cowboys do long after both teams dated Deion Luwynn Sanders Sr. (aka Neon Deion and/or Prime Time), the 49ers are now #Covid Kids, too. So what’s the big deal? Every sports fan – everywhere – should be holding […]
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