BRONX, NY – Spike Lee was at the Yankee game on Sunday. How did I know? Well it was all over the papers that Spike grabbed Mark Teixeira’s bat after it flew into the stands. Of course Spike is not like the rest of us, so he deserves to keep the in-game bat. Instead of forking it over to the Yanks security goons for some game used rosin bags and pine tar rags, Spike used it as a prop for the rest of the game. I actually thought that was the right move. If someone tosses a bat into the stands he doesn’t deserve it back. How else will they learn to hold onto something that can crack an unsuspecting fans skull wide open?
This got me thinking about celebrity fans. I’d like to give my analysis of some of the bigger celebrity fans in sports. I’m not talking about some reality TV star FOX decides to show during the Super Bowl to plug the upcoming season, rather these are legitimate fans who happen to be celebrities.
Spike Lee – NY Knicks – If you are a Knicks fan then you are automatically associated with Spike Lee. Throw in a little bit of James Dolan and a sprinkle of Isiah Thomas and you have the biggest nightmare in sports. I feel sorry for all you Knick fans out there.
Denis Leary – Boston Bruins – One of the biggest hockey fans on the planet Leary doesn’t sugar coat his love for my beloved Bruins. He also does great charity work on ice to which Short Matt can attest. The rest of us do great charity work for Short Matt.
Jerry Seinfeld – NY Mets – When the sitcom Seinfeld began, this was a Mets town. My goodness how things have taken a turn for the worse. Newman!
Rudy Giuliani – NY Yankees – A marriage made in heaven. Guiliani and the Yankees met on the corner of Smug and Arrogant.
Tim Robbins – NY Rangers – His love of the Rangers and Mets shows he is no fair weather fan. Divorced Susan Sarandon because she questioned whether Denis Potvin actually beat his wife.
Drew Carey – Cleveland Indians – Carey has stuck with his Cleveland sports teams through thick and thin (or fat and thin in Drew’s case).
Matthew McConaughey – Texas Longhorns – There’s two things that come from Texas, queers and steers. Maybe that’s why McConaughey is over the top in his affection for the Longhorns.
Billy Crystal – NY Yankees – Billy’s love of the Yankees has been beaten to death on this site. Someday I hope he is just beaten to death.
Ben Affleck – Boston Red Sox – Ben took tons of heat from his fellow Sox fans while dating Bronx native and Yankee fan Jennifer Lopez. Takes a special set of Yankee buns to attract a Fenway Frank.
Ashley Judd – Kentucky Wildcats – Ashley can be seen at many Wildcat games, not just at tourney time. She often sits in the student section where they think she is just some uncool RA.
Jack Nicholson – L.A. Lakers – The original celebrity fan in my book. Kareem, Magic, Shaq have all come and gone but Jack lives on to root another day. Drink up Mr. Torrance, you still have some work to do.
Stay tuned tomorrow for the only man angrier than Mr. Torrance, Angry Ward.
