Get The Rubber Hose: Sandusky Details Emerge

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The Public Professor is an actual Professor with a real site, but since he doesn’t have a cell phone or cable, he’s goofy enough to be here.

Icky

THE LOCKER ROOM – according the Attorney General of Pennsylvania, it turns out Jerry Sandusky was diddling boys as young as eight years old. And apparently, he also did his diddling far and wide; at least eight of the boys were molested right on the Penn State University campus, others were assaulted as far away as Texas and Florida, and he even managed to get a boy right in the kid’s own school. One youngster got it at the Alamo Bowl during Sandusky’s last game as a coach in 1999, while another was victimized during Penn State’s consecutive trips to Tampa Bayfor the Outback Bowl in Tampa from 1997-1998.

Okay, here’s where a (very) brief primer on the U.S. Constitution can be helpful.  Remember the Bill of Rights? Ring a bell? There’s ten of them; the original amendments that were tacked on a couple of years after the Constitution was ratified in 1789. We all know the famous ones, like freedom of speech, religion, and press (first) and the right to bear arms (second). But let’s take a quick glance at the tenth amendment, which reads:

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

In English, that means the federal government can do explicitly what the Constitution says it can do; otherwise, the States are in charge of their stuff and the feds have to lay off. So don’t sweat the FBI coming after you for those unpaid parking tickets. Hell, could probably pop a cap in some mofo’s ass and they won’t show.  You break a local law, it’s the local cops and courts. You break a state law, it’s the state troopers and state courts.

Give it to him, Jimmy!

What does that have to do with Sandusky’s diddling? Well prior to the revelation of his Bowl boning, this was a strictly a Pennsylvania law enforcement matter. If it only took place in PA, then it’s PA’s affair. Hands off, feds!

But Uncle Sam can get involved if you break a federal law or if you’re crimes become a national issue by crossing state lines. So when all we knew about was Sandusky’s actions in Pennsylvania, it was the state of Pennsylvania that had jurisdiction.  But now that we’ve added Texas and Florida to the mix, the FBI is launching its own investigation.

First, New York’s G-Men took down the Bastards from Boston thanks to the Manning-Manningham Miracle in the Super Bowl; and now DC’s G-Men may very well be taking down the Man-Whore from Happy Valley because of the barebacking at the Outback Bowl.

Too bad they don’t still use rubber hoses. This lowlife deserves it.

Cheesy Bruin tomorrow – a day that has his Bruins battling the Rangers

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About the Author ()

Mattville's George Plimpton, The Public Professor, is indeed a real, honest-to-goodness, legitimate professor at a major Maryland university. But because he doesn't have a cell phone or cable, he's crazy enough to be with us. A member of Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse, the terrorized Bronx graffiti artist's by correcting their grammar. His loves? The Yankees, Knicks, NY Rangers and the Pittsburgh Steelers. He also has a real website: ThePublicProfessor.com (http://www.thepublicprofessor.com/).
  • OregonPete

    He needs to be beaten in a public square, one a week, for the rest of his life. 

  • Junoir Blaber

    Improper usage of the term Manwhoring and bareback.

    Manwhore – guy that sleeps around
    Bareback – unprotected sex

    They may apply to Sandusky but he is kiddiefiddler. I will be glad when he is in prison be fiddled ungently.

  • Big Fat Toad

    I’d like to use my rubber hose on your female contributors.

    • Cookie

      Well…if that’s the case…up your nose first. ;)

  • Cheesybruin

    If anybody on this site knows ANYTHING about the FBI it would be you.  You rebel, you!

  • AngryWard

    Hasn’t Jerry Sandusky suffered enough? I mean, it’s not like he’s a child rapist or anything. Oh, wait, he is. Castration would be a good starting point.

  • Cookie

    The kids diddled on Penn State grounds should get free college admission. Only seems fair.

    Once Sandusky gets behind bars, he should be made to reside in the shower full time so other inmates could, ya know ‘horse around’ with him.

    • AngryWard

      Yeah, they could teach him how to properly wash, just as he did with those poor hygiene-deprived kids.

  • buffalobilly84

    This is the subject that everybody wants to forget but can’t and shouldn’t. 

    • MeetTheMatts

       Well said… And The Public Professor nailed it.

  • MeetTheMatts

    Oregon Pete has the right idea. The Sanduskys of the world should be drawn & quartered.

  • AngryWard

    Ann Dvorak was in “G Men?”

  • http://twitter.com/WestCoastCraig West Coast Craig

    Up his nose with a rubber hose…or some other part of his anatomy.  

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