The NFL Is Meaningless

Nothingness awaits

Nothingness awaits

Staring Into The Void – Recent tragedies of this past autumn, including super storm Sandy and the Newtown school massacre, rightly readjust our priorities and remind us that sporting entertainment like the NFL is, at the end of the day, essentially meaningless.

But inevitably, most of us will eventually put those horrid events behind us, resume our mundane lives, and return to our misplaced priorities . . . only to find that the NFL itself is reminding us it is meaningless.

Yesterday’s slate of football had some important games to be sure.  But far too much of it just didn’t matter and wasn’t worth watching.  Down here in Baltimore, in a meaningless contest for the playoff bound Ravens and Bengals, the hometown squad began pulling their starters after the first series.  Not quarter, but series.

The CBS announcers assured us less than ten minutes into the game that the Ravens really did want to win, even though they weren’t trying very hard.  One of those announcers, Solomon Wilcots, then referred to Baltimore RB Ray Rice as “a workman-like horse.”

I’m not making this up.

Elsewhere, the Jets battled the Bills.

Workman-like Horse: It's related to the Escape Goat

Workman-like Horse: It’s related to the Escape Goat

And that would be a very liberal use of the word “battle.”  As we close the season, it’s fair to ask if there have been two more disappointing teams this year than Gang Green and bunch in Buffalo?

Both starting quarterbacks, Mark Sanchez and Ryan Fitzpatrick, are almost certainly done.  Respective head coaches Rex Ryan and Chan Gailey should be as well, though they may linger like genital warts.

The Jets situation is so dire that not only is Sanchez on his way out, but backup Tim Tebwow is also going to be shown the door.  The QB who can’t hit the broad side of a barn is apparently headed to the one NFL town that still gives a shit about him: the Jacksonville.

The Jaguars are so incredibly bad that it might actually be a perfect fit for them.  Their current QB, Blaine Gabbert, is as bad as the name “Blaine Gabbert” would leave you to believe.  The rest of the club stinks too.  Maybe the worst team in the league.  Proof was their week 17 contest with a decidedly mediocre-bad Tennessee team that just tore them to pieces.

So it seems that new Jacksonville owner Shad Kahn hopes he can hornswaggle some season tickets out of the north Florida rubes who still thing Tebow is an actual NFL quarterback.  Jacksonville is, after all, just down the road from where he played college ball in Gainesville.

I googled "Blaine Gabbert" and found this.  Seems appropriate.

I googled “Blaine Gabbert” and found this. Seems appropriate.

But I was not conned into thinking that games like Tenn-Jax, New Orleans-Carolina, Tampa Bay-Atlanta, Pittsburgh-Cleveland, or Oakland-San Diego had any meaning whatsoever.  You couldn’t pay me to watch this tripe.

Well, actually you could pay me since MtM doesn’t.  I gotta take what I can get.

West Coast Craig goes for broke tomorrow.

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Mattville’s George Plimpton, The Public Professor, is indeed a real, honest-to-goodness, legitimate professor at a major Maryland university. But because he doesn’t have a cell phone or cable, he’s crazy enough to be with us. A member of Angry Ward’s Urban Spur Posse, the terrorized Bronx graffiti artist’s by correcting their grammar. His loves? The Yankees, Knicks, NY Rangers and the Pittsburgh Steelers. He also has a real website: (

  • jgclancy

    All true..especially the correct MtM spelling…. but watching my Vikings win was sweet baby!.Watching Romo and the ‘boys lose was nice too. My day off is over though and back to a long week in Breezy Point…reality sucks but one day off from the toiling to watch football is nice. Saturday–8 pm—Vikings vs. Green Bay again and I’ll be watching for sure 🙂

    • Wisconsin Walt

      I’ll be watching too!

      • Despite the great material that ticking A-Dubya off would produce, we’re going against your Pack, Dubya-Dubya. Minnesota needs to get off the schneid.

    • Damn you, ClaNcy!!!

  • Wisconsin Walt

    You killed me with “linger like genital warts” about Rex and Chan. haha…. I hope I’m still laughing after the Packs play the Vikes again though!

  • AngryWard

    Vikes game was great. Adrian Peterson is the best back I have ever seen.

    • Congrats AW!! Now that they are in the playoffs, they can breakyour heart on a botched FG or something.

    • Our Super Bowl pick is still alive. M.A.S.H. guys Peyton and Peterson… But let’s be honest, A-Pete is no Billy Taylor.

    • That’s only because you have no memories of Kevin Mack ever since the mule kicked you in the head.

      • AngryWard

        You are thinking of noted Pittsburgh drug mule Bam Morris.

  • This is why we need Promotion/Relegation in American sports!!

    • Doc Diz

      Who do we promote? Bama? Roll Tide.

  • Jets fired Mike Tannenbaum… Rex Ryan is safe for now.

  • MartyStein9er

    The Packers melt on the frozen tundra in the playoffs lately. But with Jennings back they should be better. But Vikes getting healthy on dee now.

  • SentFromMyBlackberryWirless

    Bills relieve Chan Gailey of head coaching duties
    Chiefs cut Crennel after one season as coach
    Lovie Smith out as Chicago Bears head coach
    Eagles make it official by firing Andy Reid
    GM Tannenbaum out; Rex Ryan still Jets coach
    Pat Shurmur, Tom Heckert fired by Browns
    Report: Jon Gruden to interview for open jobs
    No decision expected today on Panthers’ Rivera

    • Grote2Dmax

      Lovie’s out? Wow that is surprising.

  • Grote2Dmax

    I need an Escape Goat for the last place finish for my fantasy team. Why couldn’t Jordy Nelson score on that 72 yard pass play yesterday instead of getting tackled at the 6. The 78 yard TD was all I needed to get out of the cellar. Oh well. What could’ve been.

  • buffalobilly84

    The Jets have less to look forward to then the Bills. Thats sayin a lot!

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