The NFL Is Meaningless

Nothingness awaits
Nothingness awaits

Staring Into The Void – Recent tragedies of this past autumn, including super storm Sandy and the Newtown school massacre, rightly readjust our priorities and remind us that sporting entertainment like the NFL is, at the end of the day, essentially meaningless.

But inevitably, most of us will eventually put those horrid events behind us, resume our mundane lives, and return to our misplaced priorities . . . only to find that the NFL itself is reminding us it is meaningless.

Yesterday’s slate of football had some important games to be sure.  But far too much of it just didn’t matter and wasn’t worth watching.  Down here in Baltimore, in a meaningless contest for the playoff bound Ravens and Bengals, the hometown squad began pulling their starters after the first series.  Not quarter, but series.

The CBS announcers assured us less than ten minutes into the game that the Ravens really did want to win, even though they weren’t trying very hard.  One of those announcers, Solomon Wilcots, then referred to Baltimore RB Ray Rice as “a workman-like horse.”

I’m not making this up.

Elsewhere, the Jets battled the Bills.

Workman-like Horse: It's related to the Escape Goat
Workman-like Horse: It’s related to the Escape Goat

And that would be a very liberal use of the word “battle.”  As we close the season, it’s fair to ask if there have been two more disappointing teams this year than Gang Green and bunch in Buffalo?

Both starting quarterbacks, Mark Sanchez and Ryan Fitzpatrick, are almost certainly done.  Respective head coaches Rex Ryan and Chan Gailey should be as well, though they may linger like genital warts.

The Jets situation is so dire that not only is Sanchez on his way out, but backup Tim Tebwow is also going to be shown the door.  The QB who can’t hit the broad side of a barn is apparently headed to the one NFL town that still gives a shit about him: the Jacksonville.

The Jaguars are so incredibly bad that it might actually be a perfect fit for them.  Their current QB, Blaine Gabbert, is as bad as the name “Blaine Gabbert” would leave you to believe.  The rest of the club stinks too.  Maybe the worst team in the league.  Proof was their week 17 contest with a decidedly mediocre-bad Tennessee team that just tore them to pieces.

So it seems that new Jacksonville owner Shad Kahn hopes he can hornswaggle some season tickets out of the north Florida rubes who still thing Tebow is an actual NFL quarterback.  Jacksonville is, after all, just down the road from where he played college ball in Gainesville.

I googled "Blaine Gabbert" and found this.  Seems appropriate.
I googled “Blaine Gabbert” and found this. Seems appropriate.

But I was not conned into thinking that games like Tenn-Jax, New Orleans-Carolina, Tampa Bay-Atlanta, Pittsburgh-Cleveland, or Oakland-San Diego had any meaning whatsoever.  You couldn’t pay me to watch this tripe.

Well, actually you could pay me since MtM doesn’t.  I gotta take what I can get.

West Coast Craig goes for broke tomorrow.

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About The Public Professor 79 Articles
Mattville's George Plimpton, The Public Professor, is indeed a real, honest-to-goodness, legitimate professor at a major Maryland university. But because he doesn't have a cell phone or cable, he's crazy enough to be with us. A member of Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse, the terrorized Bronx graffiti artist's by correcting their grammar. His loves? The Yankees, Knicks, NY Rangers and the Pittsburgh Steelers. He also has a real website: (