ANGER GROUND ZERO–Please pardon the non sequiturs and haphazard grammar today. I seriously can’t think straight. Spent most of yesterday screaming at anyone who would listen, and a few who wouldn’t, about the fact that my Slumlord Millionaires have not paid a measly Con Ed bill since October and we had our building power (including heat and hot water) cut off for most of the day until it was thankfully restored later. Funny how quickly you dispose of the roughing-it, pioneer spirit when your own child’s well-being, as well as several senior citizens, are put at risk. Now, I don’t want to paint all landlords with a broad brush but I hope that the guys that run my joint have a special place in hell reserved for them. I can see the listing now: Loud, toasty studio, no bath, no kitchen, no room for bed, amazing views of yourself being tortured, there is a toilet!, however, you are the toilet. Contact superintendent J. Dahmer. (Sam, you can probably come up with something better here.) All right, let me get away from my personal vendettas for a minute and concentrate on some more general issues. First, the Mets can afford to give “lower c†a truckload of money but they can’t afford to hire a decent designer to put this so-called sleeve patch together? What gives? Maybe the Wilpons are my landlords. Secondly, how much does everyone hate Scott Boras? Somehow he continues to find suckers for his clients. I applaud the Mets for not paying that ridiculous ransom for Derek Lowe. Though the rotation is very shaky, I seriously hope they don’t offer Ollie all that much either. If anything at all. (Not that they are passing those savings along to the fans.) Next topic: Technology. It’s great, but I am concerned with the negative side of things here today. First off, I’ve mentioned this before, but can people stop the damn texting and iphone checking as they walk down the street? Is that too much to ask? The clothesline tackle is coming back people, and it is coming back with a vengeance. You’ve been warned. On the same topic, someone please tell me what is the benefit of these Nextel walkie-talkie cell phones? Bad enough I have to hear some complete idiot talk about his crashingly boring day with some other mope who had an even less eventful one while I am riding on Metro North or some other conveyance, but do we really need to hear both ends of the conversation? Cripes, if I wanted that I would rent out the movie based on the ’70s CB radio-inspired hit, “Convoy.†How about Facebook and other like sites? I hear that they are good for reconnecting with old friends and have actually considered joining, but aren’t there some real drawbacks? For one, didn’t most people stay in touch with the friends they wanted to stay in touch with from High School and College? Also, isn’t there something a little more personal about actually dropping someone a quick letter or even a friggin’ postcard? It’s come to the point where people prefer posting their daily happenings on their Facebook page rather than pick up a phone and talk to someone. Quick sidenote: stop texting me!!! I don’t want your text messages! I don’t get it. No one ever wants to write but if it means avoiding a call, by all means people are prepared to give themselves carpal tunnel crafting such bon mots as: “UR so stoopid,†“LOL,†and “Kewl.†Finally, I love Google and the fact that we have so much info at our fingertips today (where would the Phanatic be without internet statistics?) but people are getting much lazier because of the availability of information. I put it to you that we are raising a generation of plagiarists. My wife has witnessed plenty of this “borrowing†from her students and I have seen it in manuscripts from so-called “professional writers.†When everything comes so easy, originality goes right out the window. I’ve got plenty of other stuff to gripe about but I’ll save it for the off week between the Cardinals/Steelers Super Bowl. How stupid is that off week, by the way? I sincerely hope that this was sufficiently angry enough for Marty O’B. You Lout! Drink plenty of bourbon tonight people. It’s a blanket in a bottle.
