Washington, D.C. â€“ I have some quotations Iâ€™d like to share with you this week.Â See if you can guess who provided them.
â€œWe shouldnâ€™t fear a world that is more interacted.â€
â€œOne thing is clear, is relations between America and Russia are good, and theyâ€™re important that they be good.â€
â€œI have a different vision of leadership.Â A leadership is someone who brings people together.â€
“Our priorities is our faith.â€
â€œIt is clear our nation is reliant upon big foreign oil.Â More and more of our imports come from overseas.â€
â€œI want to appreciate those of you who wear our nationâ€™s uniform for your sacrifice.â€
And finally this little gemâ€¦ â€œIf the terriers and bariffs are torn down, this economy will grow.â€
Thatâ€™s right, all of these beauties are from the Sultan of Slip-Ups, The Bard of Bad Puns, The Maestro of Mal-A-Props; none other than our soon to be former President George W. Bush.Â Every comedian in the country should be wearing a black armband on Tuesday.Â This guy was comedy Gold, Jerry, Gold!Â Has there ever been a more unknowingly hilarious Commander-In-Chief?Â I hope he holds a press conference at least one a month for the rest of his life.Â Think of the material!
Although my country is fighting two wars and struggling with an economic crisis, I would personally like to thank Mr. Bush for providing stand-ups everywhere with so much to work with.Â In these hard times we need laughter more than ever.Â Jon Stewart should give at least three Emmys to Mr. Bush.Â Bill Mahar, Frank Caliendo, Dana Carvey, Dennis Millerâ€¦ all of you should send gifts or head to Crawford and help clear some brush.Â Itâ€™s the least you could do!
The man was a beautiful, non-stop, eight year train wreck; a twenty car pile up, a gasoline fire.Â We were appalled yet we couldnâ€™t look away.Â You will be missed, sir.
Mr. Obama, you have a tough act to follow.Â So far youâ€™ve only given us big ears and bad bowling.Â Do a good job, first and foremost, but pleaseÂ screw upÂ once in a while.Â Fall off a chair, mispronounce a country, lose your place, something, anythingâ€¦ throw us a bone!
I leave you all with one final thought from George W. Bush.
â€œFamilies is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.â€
I think my spellcheck just exploded,