By Rex O’Rourke

THE NORTH POLE – Will this winter never end?  I can’t believe it’s still a month from opening day.  Although I’m not sure I can get excited about the Yankees after I came to the realization that they basically have seven DH’s (Damon, Jeter, Rodriguez, Nady, Cano, Matsui, and Posada) in their lineup.  Can Texiera cover the entire infield?  Can the staff strike out 2000?  A-Roid’s hip reminds me off two words… Britt Burns.  As for my Islanders, there’s nothing left but the death rattle and the funeral procession in Cincinnati or Kansas City or Cleveland or Moosejaw or Yellowknife or wherever they end up.  The Knicks, though slightly improved, are still terrible and have no identity whatsoever.  Quick, name seven Knicks, I bet you can’t.  St. John’s basketball hasn’t been relevant in this century.  March Madness is still two weeks away and the word “Bracketology” annoys me like no other.  The NBA playoffs, which should be interesting, are still over a month away.  I’ve just got nothing to hold on to right now.  I’m in sports purgatory.  You know things are bad when you’re rooting for the Netherlands to knock off the Dominican Republic in the WBC (which wasn’t quite 1980 USA hockey but was, all things considered, a pretty big upset).  The Super Bowl seems like three months ago and if I see Mel Kiper on ESPN one more time I’m heading to Bristol and taking a hedge trimmer to that helmet-head of his. There have been two things that have sustained me in my time of need.  “The Haney Project”, Mondays at nine on the Golf Channel; the hilarious look at Charles Barkley’s attempt to correct what could be the worst swing in golf history and Terrell Owens being exiled to Buffalo.  I hope they get three feet of snow every Sunday! 

Until next week,


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