by Philview and The Phanatic

THE CITY OF BROTHERLY LOVE, PA – EXCITEMENT! ELECTRICITY! RIVETING DRAMA! What do these three things have in common, you ask? Well, my friends, they are all completely ABSENT from this weekend series between the Mets and the Phillies.

And as much as we, your brethren from Philly, want to post a taunting and antagonistic invective to get your juices flowing, well, in our humble opinion, the first meeting of these rivals is about as tepid as day-old bathwater and as flaccid as Monty Burns. As Shakespeare said,

“In a false quarrel there is no true valor.”

And – it’s too darn early. We don’t even feel it’s the right time to mention those obstructed CitiField seats.

A year ago, though, the air crackled – even simmered with excitement. The Mets were anxious to shake off a historical sinking of Titanic proportions; the Phillies were still smarting from a playoff run that lasted about as long as Forrest Gump in Jenny’s dorm room. And they disliked each other. It was electric, and fun.

But we haven’t gone soft on you – OKAY? So, it’s time to take over this lovefest and throw in some reality. You may be okay with that silly handshake at center ice but I am not. The reason you can’t get excited about this early season series is because it’s the Mets and we’ve seen how this movie ends, twice.

The World Champion Philadelphia Phillies have had an unsettling start to their season. After all of the raucous celebrations, flag raisings and photo ops with the trophy, they were hit with the sudden loss of their iconic broadcaster. The horrible home stand led us to believe that this season was starting to spiral downward. Then they hit the road to face the hottest team in the NL East. What happened? Of course, they sweep the high flying fish from South Florida.

Baseball is strange like that. That’s the only way to explain why the only investment with a lower return than real estate in San Francisco and Florida is New York baseball payrolls.

Well, what’s next? On paper, it looks like an opportunity to make a move for our Phitin’ Phils. This week it’s back home to face the two teams fighting for the basement in the NL East, the Nats and the Mets. Since Santana is pitching on Wednesday, the Phils won’t have to face him this weekend and facing the Mets staff minus the ace is like a Tiger Woods 5 foot putt on 18. In the end, you are right, these games are really meaningless. The reason that you have a hard time getting into them now is the same reason I cringe when I see Andy Garcia and Sofia Coppola n the same room.

I have an idea for the Mets. Maybe it’s time for a name change. After the Rays last year and the Jays hot start this year, maybe they could change their name to the Gays. Oh wait, it looks like the Rangers have already put a claim in for that name.

NOTE: Unfortunately, Philview refused to sanction my comment about the Dan Girardi – Marc Staal rumors. So, I need to point out that the views expressed in this column are the not always the views of both The Phanatic and Philview.

Finally, in helping with the MTM cause, here’s a little something to get tomorrow’s stellar columnist, Angry Ward, phired up:

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