COOKIE'S CORNER: BEER SUMMIT DIPLOMACY

August 7, 2009 Cookie Cookie's Corner 17

THE FAR EAST, LI – I’ve been out in the Far East reaches of the U.S. this week by way of The Hamptons. When pondering what to post this week, my thoughts turned to the gliteratti out here (the Hiltons, the Woods’, the Baldwins), as well as the overwhelming sense of entitlement people have out here. Sure, my mom has a house in ‘The Hamptons,’ but by way of Sag Harbor, which is the least tony of the Hamptons. And when she bought her modest house, it was for a song. Like current times, the real estate market was depressed, but people still actually had money to buy things (as opposed to this ‘on paper’ junk).

It got me to thinking about current events and how far diplomacy has come. Yes indeed, diplomacy has come a long way. Think about it folks; despite what you think about our new President Obama, you’ve got to admit, the guy’s got some moxie. Obama pulled a Biden by firmly inserting foot in mouth when he said the Boston Police Department “… acted stupidly” when (admittedly) he did not have all the facts about the Professor Gates/Sgt. Crowley incident. But then, a stroke of GENIUS. He said perhaps Gates and Crowley could “… come to the White House for a beer.”

And they came, along with diplomatic BRILLIANCE. We now have some hope for the future as the BEER SUMMIT was born. What I loved about the Beer Summit was what it said to Gates, Crowley and the masses who were all frothing at the mouth for another race relations fisticuffs. It said, plain and simple:

    “GET THE FROG OVER THIS STUPIDITY! MOVE THE HECK ON.”

After a Bud Light, Buckler, Sam Adams Light and a Blue Moon – it was all over. The debate and the media hyper speculation was over. Everyone was shut up. Now THAT folks, is diplomacy.

This week, a past beloved President, one Bill Clinton, pulled a Jimmy Carter. Billionaire (and ex-horizontal mambo partner and Baby Daddy of Elizabeth Hurley) Steven Bing lent Bubba his private jet to go over to North Korea to meet with Kim Jong Il to discuss the release of two American journalists charged with spying.

Proving what a stud Clinton (still) is, various other politically relevant and powerful people were suggested to make the trip, only to be turned down by the North Korean government. Kim Jong and clan wanted Slick Willy… period. And Bill didn’t blow the job either. Mission accomplished as the journalists Ling and Lee arrived home on Wednesday. When someone said to me “I wonder how he did it.” My answer was:

    “Easy. He got there and told Kim: ‘Pizza and b*&w jobs for everyone.”

This was a master’s course in diplomacy people. It’s official. The Jimmy Carter School for Diplomacy is now open and ready for business.

In honor of this new diplomacy, I present a few pairings who could learn something from these two recent and shining examples. People in need of some beer summit diplomacy:

  • Terrell Owens/Donovan McNabb (or Jerry Jones, or Tony Romo, or INSERT QUARTERBACK HERE): He’s had issues with EVERY quarterback he’s played with. T.O. ALWAYS complains about not getting the ball enough. Surely his shuffle off to Buffalo will be no different. My favorite bit of T.O. came when he cried during a press conference after losing the NFC East to the Giants. At that point, when the reporters talked about Romo, T.O. came to his defense and said “It’s my TEAM.” (sniffle, sniffle), “It’s my TEAM.” Apparently at that point, T.O. was upset because he realized that there really was no ‘I’ in ‘TEAM.‘
  • Ozzie Guillen/…Anyone!: The guy’s vocab has more frog’s in it than a pond in the bayou. What’s redeeming about Ozzie’s rants is that they show some guts, some emotion… a bit of caring about something. Hey.. there’s something the Mets management can learn a lesson from. Here’s a little website that compiled a Top 10 List of Ozzie Guillen quotes. I dunno how often this site is updated but my guess is that if it’s not updated daily, it’s probably WAY out of date already. Speaking of Ozzie… Here’s a nice duet he did with another likely Beer Summit frequent attendee, Sweet Lou:

  • Billy Martin/Reggie Jackson: The contentious pair that needed physical restraining. Mr. I’m the Straw that Stirs the Drink could’ve probably diffused any situation by presenting Billy with…a drink. Go figure. I score one for Reggie though. After all, he had the most fabulous candy confection of all time named after him.

  • Billy Martin/Any MLB Umpire: OK, so I really wouldn’t want to tinker this relationship with any diplomacy. But I had to mention it for the simple fact of Billy’s fights with blue were what should be referred to as THE textbook way that managers should do it. As a little girl, I remember watching Billy carry on, storming out, kicking dirt at the umps feet, yelling until I thought his head would explode. It was also a wonder how he could yell so hard that the hat bounced around on his head. Perfect.

  • Manny Ramirez/Joe Torre (trust me folks, this is one that will come to fruition in the NEAR future): File this under the above Martin/Jackson duo. Martin and Jackson started off all chummy, only to end up at each other’s throats. When you have two, gargantuan egos, one will always feel the need to show dominance and when that happens, look out. Torre and Manny will face off, no doubt. That is, unless Manny leaves LA-LA land before this toxic soup explodes all over Chez Ravine.
  • Paul O’Neill/ANY Liquid Refreshment Cooler: Taking a called third strike because he thought it was a ball? Yeah, that would be enough to set O’Neill off. He always came back into the dugout and took it out on some poor drink cooler. Those fat, perspiring barrels never had a chance.

    • As I head off to fight the privileged people here in the Hamptons, I’ll keep some Beer Summit Diplomacy in mind. (My guess though is that they prefer champagne or fine wine.) And as we look to another Sox/Yanks series, I’m guessing that there is no beer diplomacy here. After all, the Yanks are 0-18 against the Sox, so I’ve got to get my full hate on and stand behind the sentiments of Mrs. Matt’s license plate. soxsux2.jpg

    Finally, A toast to all attendees of the MTM Beer Summit on Thursday. When tempers get hot, I am sure cool, frosty, beer diplomacy can prevail.

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    About Cookie 101 Articles
    Cookie, like 7 fifths of the MTM staff, was brought in by The Franchise (Angry Ward). They met sitting near each other at a NY Rangers game. She's our Angelina Jolie in "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" - by day the fetching wife and young mother of two little boys; by night the hot, sports fanatic that mixes in triathlons and X-Treme sports with her love for the Yankees, Brooklyn Nets, NY Rangers and... Denver Broncos. She is, like most of the rotation, more than a bit sassy, bakes like nobody's business and is one smart... Cookie. She too, needs to be in a bikini as often as possible.