By Rex O’Rourke
Lexington, KY – It was an interesting week in sports. Tiger Woods missed the cut I thought he’d miss two weeks ago. The Mutts had quite a homestand and a great first night in Philly only to run into Roy Halladay on Saturday. The Yankees visited the White House. Super Saver won the Derby. The Capitals got bounced from the playoffs as a one seed. The King got a boo boo. Santonio Holmes was, well, Santonio Holmes. And I shot an 86, breaking 90 for the first time since 1987. In honor of Spring I thought I’d give out some awards.
The “Do I Get A Mulligan Award?” goes to… Tiger Woods. When I saw a +9 next to his name late on Friday, I thought it was a misprint (or my scorecard after about 12 holes) but it was that of a man coming down to earth. I like Tiger and think he’s a fantastic golfer and athlete; yet it was great to see him struggle like the rest of us. And no Tiger, you don’t get a Mulligan.
The “Who Are These Guys Award?” goes to… The New York Metropolitans. Now we New Yorkers know who these guys are, but the rest of the country has to be asking themselves how in the name of Duffy Dyer did these guys take 9 of 10 to motor into first. Have fun with Roy Halladay this season. I’m just glad he’s out of the AL East.
The “Where’s Waldo Award?” goes to… John Sterling. Phil Mushnick (that show off) scooped me on this one, but only because I post on Sundays. John Sterling, the most annoying man in the history of the world, managed to position himself in the middle of the team picture at the White House. Did I miss something? Is he a utility infielder? Fourth Outfielder? How does an organization as steeped in tradition as the New York Yankees allow this attention hog in the picture? Players, coaches, and maybe trainers and that’s it. This just in. When asked what he thought of the President’s health care agenda, Sterling commented, “It’s an O’BAMMA from OBAMA!”. Someone please shoot this guy… Sterling, not The President.
The “That’s Why They Call It Gambling Award” goes to… Me. I got nosed out in the Derby for the exacta at the wire. UNLUCKY!
The “What Have You Done For Me Lately?” Award goes to… Jaroslav Halak. The Canadians netminder saved 107 of the last 109 shots, many while standing on his head, to help knock off The Caps and then let in 5 of 20 against The Pens in Game 1, and got benched. Thanks a bunch, coach.
The “The Pope’s Got A Bad Cold Award” goes to… LeBron James. Only a dying Pontiff gets more media coverage than The King’s sore elbow. Does anyone really think he’s going to miss a game?
The “Is Lawrence Phillips In Shape And Available? Award” goes… to The New York Jets. Santonio Holmes was kicked off a plane for refusing to turn off his Ipod, and The Raiders of the East seem intent on bringing in every knucklehead they can, chemistry be damned. I hate to say I told you so but I told you so.
The “Eighty Nine Schmeighty Nine Award” goes to… Me. Having set a goal of breaking 90 this year (the 88 in 1987 was at a Muni where you could get home from two fairways over with a 5 iron, so it doesn’t feel legit) I’ve upgraded my equipment (technology is our friend) and hit the range in the hopes of carding an 89. Well after a 42 on the front, I thought the wheels would come off, but they never did. I left about 5 putts out there, or it could’ve been in the low 80’s. So the H-E-Double Hockey sticks with 89, the new goal is 85.
Hey, I got two awards this week!
Until next week,