WASHINGTON, DC – What a week we’ve had already and it is only Tuesday! Within 24 hours two unreal things happened, Mariano blew a save and the stock market crashed 600 points. Father time may well be catching up with Rivera but the government’s recent stretch of wasting time has caught up with the rest of us. It seems that years of overspending has finally hamstrung the country and the serious rancor in Washington DC between the political parties has led to our country’s credit rating being downgraded. With the dire financial straits our country is in now, I thought it would be appropriate to point out that some major sports franchises have had to file for bankruptcy protection. Unfortunately for us this is not an option for the USA.
Seattle Pilots – 1970 – The Pilots lasted only one full season in the American League before D.B. Cooper hijacked the team plane and parachuted out with all the dough. Seizing the opportunity to pick apart the carcass, buzzard Bud Selig swooped in and purchased the franchise for a song and moved them to Milwaukee where they became the Brewers. Like most good folks from the Pacific Northwest, Bigfoot was pissed. He left that day never to be seen again. See artist’s rendering here.
Pittsburgh Penguins – 1975, 1998 – Long before Super Mario led the Penguins to multiple NHL titles the franchise filed for bankruptcy. Long after Super Mario led the Penguins to multiple NHL titles the franchise filed for bankruptcy. In between Mario Lemieux led the Penguins to multiple NHL titles.
Cleveland Barons – 1978 – Yes once upon a time Cleveland had a hockey team. In 1976 the owners of the Golden Seals decided to leave dreary California for the greener pastures of Cleveland. The dream died in 1978 when the Barons had to merge with the Minnesota North Stars. Too bad we can’t make the city of Cleveland merge with Minneapolis and close up the mistake by the lake for good. Even the Rock n’ Roll Hall Of Fame is better suited in The Replacements home town.
Baltimore Orioles – 1993 – The Orioles were a mess in the late 80’s into the early 90’s when Peter Angelos rode in on his white horse to save them. They turned things around rather quickly with the building of Camden Yards but after the initial glow faded the fans realized they were left with the horse’s ass running the show.
Los Angeles Kings – 1995 – Bruce McNall purchased the Kings from Laker owner Jerry Buss and immediately brought in the Great One to save hockey in L.A. Lousy investments, including buying the CFL’s Toronto Argonauts with Gretzky and John Candy, and illegal activity led to the Kings going bankrupt by the mid nineties. In 1995 an L.A. bankruptcy court foolishly ruled that the team was rightfully Rodney King’s. Race riots ensued.
Ottawa Senators – 2003 –
“Ottawa you have $1,800 (Canadian), what do you want to do?”
“I’ll spin”
“Ahhhhhhh. Bankrupt. Your turn Buffalo.”
Buffalo Sabres – 2003 – The Sabres have always been a hard luck franchise so like most people who have fallen on hard times they decided to file for bankruptcy to see if they could turn things around. Cue sad trombone.
Phoenix Coyotes – 2009 – Hockey in the desert has just got to work. I mean who wouldn’t want to come indoors for 2 1/2 hours of air conditioning. The cost of keeping the rink frozen alone drove this franchise into bankruptcy.
Texas Rangers – 2010 – The Rangers went bankrupt and were still able to keep Cliff Lee from becoming a Yankee. What a country. U S A. U S A. U S A.
Los Angeles Dodgers – 2011 –
“I’ll have an S, Pat.”
“Yes two S’s”
M_SS_ DIVORC_
“I’ll solve the puzzle, Pat. MESSY DIVORCE“.
Guest hosting for Pat Sajak tomorrow, is our very own Angry Ward.
