HOLLYWOOD, CA – Apologies to all – I’ve been so wrapped up in sports through the summer that I’ve neglected my duties as Girl Friday and keeping you all up to date in the celebrity world. Well, now that baseball season is over for all but those Nolan Ryan and Albert Pujols, and I’m done with my triathlons, it’s time to fatten up for winter and take a looksie at those who live high on the hog. Sit back, pass the candy corn and JGClancy… get going on the egg nog please.
The Lohan Lo-Down: What? The Lohan Go Down? No… that’s not what I said. First tidbit, her booking papers as she was hauled off to jail yesterday listed her as (take it away Austin Powers) ‘a MAN, baby!’ So, that means Li-Lo’s ex, Samantha Ronson isn’t ACTUALLY a lesbian. She likes MEN! But, Lindsay was due to report to the morgue for her community service and was turned away for being late, so no stiffies for Lindsay.
The Open Barn Door: I’m starting to realize that the weekly ‘news’ on ‘Dancing With The Stars’ always involves someone having some sort of wardrobe malfunction. Unfortunately, it’s always involving someone like Nancy Grace or Kirstie Alley. It’s never anything you want to SEE, so there’s still no reason to watch this drek. This week, Chaz Bono did his entire dance routine with his barn door open. Fly agape. Chaz’s dancing is NOT Pro-Bono. And for those trans-gender curious, no BONO was spotted at all. Not even in the SLIGHTEST.
Affleck-ted With Red Sox Fans: Seems like Ben Affleck’s boys can swim as Jennifer Garner is preggers again. That will make THREE (two girls so far) for you playing at home. That’s two-and-a-half MORE than the number of Academy Awards he’s won since penning ‘Good Will Hunting’ with Matt Damon, who is up one girl offspring on Ben. But all you need to know is it’s WAY too many Red Sox fans being hatched for my liking.
Gorgeous George Clooney: After dumping eye-talian eye-candy, Elisabeta Cannalis (Cannibus? Cannibus? Anyone? Anyone?), George Clooney stepped out with Stacey Keibler. No.. I don’t know why she’s famous. Yes… I am now hungry and waiting for an Elfwich cookie, and YES.. she will be dying her hair brown soon to fall in line with the rest of George’s preferred slam pieces.
Occupy Wall Street Gets A Brand: Uber annoying, one-trick pony and Katy Perry stiffy provider Russell Brand sat in with the Occupy Wall Street gang in NYC. So… yeah… that burning question of ‘Can Russell Brand get MORE ANNOYING?!?’ is answered. It’s a RESOUNDING. F*CKIN’. YES.
…and the last but not LEAST Celeb TidBit: We’ve neglected her for awhile and SHAME ON US here at MeetTheMatts, but Sofia Vergara is still SMOKIN’ HOT. She will NOT make you fellas feel like dirty old men, AND her show ‘Modern Family’ is some seriously funny stuff! I mean.. that’s second only to this site. Enjoy this final ‘bit’ below and enjoy the weekend kiddies!
The Public Professor, manana… And please Tweet and tell about MTM. Thanks…