Hot Stove Top Stuffing

Crazy off season maneuvering has been going down.  Let’s assess.

Taking a big dump on the O.C.

Albert Pujols to the Angels- This one’s a stinker.  Call me crazy, but if you  give a position player over a quarter of a billion dollars on a ten year contract, I’d like him to actually play a position and play it well. Yet, who among us doubts for even a moment that this 32 year old bloated bag of man juice won’t be DHing within a couple of years time? Not that he was ever a ballerina around the bag to begin with.  And now that he’s no longer spking (you know it, I know it, everyone knows it), his numbers will dip as well.  This one’s at least as bad as the A-Roid contract.  Maybe worse.

C.J. Wilson to the Angels- A left-handed starter with a history of pitching well in big games: great move.  If the Orange County Angles had made a couple more more  moves similar to this one instead of investing the GDP of a small nation into Pujols, I’d call them the smartest team in sports. Instead, it looks like they’re just throwing darts and may have hit a bulls eye on this one.

Jose Reyes to the Marlins- Oh, all you Metropolitan fans are distraught over this one. But who are we kidding? Reyes didn’t “come into his own last year.” He simply played like it was his free agency contract season. Which it was. And now he’s been paid. Besides, his last day of the season performance was the very opposite of macho. The drag bunt for a hit was fine, I have no problem with that. But then taking himself out to secure the batting title? You don’t want someone like that on your team. Bad ju-ju from Jo-Jo. Let the Marlins deal with it.

"I don't know!"

Mark Buehrle to the Marlins- Ozzie Guillen recently admitted he didn’t know who was on the other teams in the Marlins’ division. I wouldn’t be surprised if former White Sox ace Buehrle is the only Marlin he knows for sure. On the field, this move is good. Off the field it’s even better if it lets Ozzie pretend he’s paying attention.

Chris Paul not to the Lakers- This was fantastic. Not only because I’m a Knicks fan and I want to keep alive the dream of seeing Paul suit up in the Garden, but because it was high drama. A retarded three-way getting shot down by David Stern because the league owns Paul’s New Orleans Hornets (they really gotta get a new name if they’re gonna stay in the Crescent City) and some of the owners thought it was too easy a deal. Good. I’m ready to see the Phil Jackson-less Lakers suck anyway.

Cookie and Lori Levine to DeadSpin- Just kidding. Fortunately MtM still uses a Reserve Clause in its contracts, so our biggest stars ain’t goin’ nowhere!

Cheesy Bruin fulfills his contractual obligation tomorrow.  In the meantime, you can follow me here, here, or here.

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About The Public Professor 79 Articles
Mattville's George Plimpton, The Public Professor, is indeed a real, honest-to-goodness, legitimate professor at a major Maryland university. But because he doesn't have a cell phone or cable, he's crazy enough to be with us. A member of Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse, the terrorized Bronx graffiti artist's by correcting their grammar. His loves? The Yankees, Knicks, NY Rangers and the Pittsburgh Steelers. He also has a real website: (