Cookie’s Corner: SWIM, BIKE… DONE!

Fast girls Cookie and Sally

WHEREVER, CT:  Another two weeks flown by and I’m slogging this out after a WAY long day that ended with three of us ladies wrangling seven kids in the outdoor space of a restaurant.  Indeed, the drinks could not be big enough, even if I wasn’t driving.  But I am an endurance athlete – a triathlete – and I hope YOU will endure my race recap for my season kickoff at Rev3 Quassy.

 Your Ass Has Been Cleared: Two weeks ago, I was given the ‘“all clear” by the orthopedic doctor to start running again after a three-month layoff for a torn hamstring. It was a distal tear, meaning torn up near my ass cheek.  So, my first race this past Saturday was switched to AquaBike – which I’ve affectionately termed SWIM, BIKE… DONE!    Rated: Very Exciting!

Pimp Cookie's ride

Mamma’s Got a New Pair of SHOES!:  I am not much of a shoe girl.  Jimmy Choos and Christian Laboutin pumps do nothing for me.  At 5’9″… I really don’t need the height.  But last week, pre-race my rented race wheels arrived and I swapped rims and the rear cassette, and The Bitch was all set with her new shoes.  And yes, I am quite GOOD with my hands AND tools… Rating:  Kinda Exciting.  These race wheels are PIMP.. but they had to get sent back.  Heartbreaking, really.

COLD + RAIN = NOT SUMMER:  I watched the weather app on my phone move to about 87% rain chance by Friday night.  It had been stressing me all week and now it was confirmed.  Third race out of four in the past year I’d be racing in the rain.   Race morning was COLD.  Me and my bud Sally took shelter pre-race at the car before putting on our wet suits when it was time to hit the beach for the swim start. We started our own dance party (complete with ass slapping in neoprene), mainly to keep warm, but also because the music was GOOD and… well… 250mg of caffeine on TOP of your morning coffee will do that to you.  Rating: Meh.  Why must I race? Can’t I hang out and dance like I’m at a rave since I’m on barely legal performance enhancing sports mixes? 

SWIM, NAP, Oh… Get On The Bike?!?  After a decent swim, I trotted out of the water to transition to my bike. Got to my bike and really wasn’t in a hurry… dropped my  helmet a few times… and who knows what else, but it took me FOUR MINUTES before I got out on the bike leg.  An ETERNITY.  RatingOnly my Bubbe could’ve been slower.  She’s dead.

Biking… Crashing… Hail… Trying Not to Wet My Pants:  A twenty-five mile race on a hilly course can be fun… I swear.  But in the piss pouring rain?!?!  Not so much? After about the 2nd crash I saw and the FOURTH ambulance on course, I decided I was smart to conserve my speed.. maxing out at 40.5 on the downhills.  (OK… so I like gravity.)  And if you’ve never ridden a TT Bike (Time Trial, AKA.. Tri Bike), when you ride in aero.. you are (what seems like) MILES away from the brakes.  You play a bit of chicken on downhills with how fast you want to go before you decide it’s BETTER to be CLOSER to the brakes eventually for safety.  In the rain, on carbon race wheels NOTORIOUS for not stopping as well… braking sounds like a missle fired through the sky.  It can make ya wet yer pants, but heck.. mine were already soaked for the rain and the hail.  Rating: Most Excellent.  In hindsight… this all makes me sound like a SERIOUS bad ass!!

...10 minutes later...

SWIM, BIKE, WON:  In AquaBike, since there’s still a tri going on, you have no idea where you placed.  But really, seeing as there is no love lost between me and running, I got to rack my bike back in transition, then started celebrating that I was done.  Hands frozen, toes numb… soaked to the bone, I was THRILLED.

Results posted, I later found out I was the 1st Place Female for Rev3 Quassy Aquabike.  In fact, I was third overall of all men and women, only 30 seconds behind the 2nd place dude (that transition NAP of mine needs to be shortened). It was a good day.

POST RACE CELEBRATIONS: Later that evening, I retired to a bar/restaurant with my friend Sally, and we had dinner…. and drinks.  The rest speaks for it self.

Come back tomorrow for a guy who speaks for himself (because no one can understand what goes on in his mind), The Public Professor.






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About Cookie 101 Articles
Cookie, like 7 fifths of the MTM staff, was brought in by The Franchise (Angry Ward). They met sitting near each other at a NY Rangers game. She's our Angelina Jolie in "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" - by day the fetching wife and young mother of two little boys; by night the hot, sports fanatic that mixes in triathlons and X-Treme sports with her love for the Yankees, Brooklyn Nets, NY Rangers and... Denver Broncos. She is, like most of the rotation, more than a bit sassy, bakes like nobody's business and is one smart... Cookie. She too, needs to be in a bikini as often as possible.