Cookie’s Corner: Stars Crashing & Burning… But Not R.A. Dickey!

R.A. Dickey for President!

NEW YORK, NY – Hi kids. Another week flies by and now the leaves are falling. You know what they say; when the leaves go brown, the socks go down.  Well, the Sox have been down for awhile but it’s not as bad as if they Mets had their Dickey knocked in the dirt.  Thankfully, the Mets season ended on a high note with R.A. Dickey getting his 20th wasted win of the season. Hopefully, some of the faithful here made it to that game to watch it and get drunk.

Dickey in the box with two balls on him…

Trust me, if you’re reading this hung0ver, you’d love it. But back to the Mets. They managed to narrowly avoid crashing and burning in the 9th yesterday, which is par for the course at their home finales. Fortunately for us, though, there are those in the news that haven’t been so lucky. Let’s take a look at who has been Crashing & Burning:

Her Prerogative: Her mother, Whitney Houston took a nice, drug induced snooze in a bathtub. Her father, Bobby Brown is a real piece of work with drugs and alcohol himself. Stands to reason their Jersey offspring, Bobbi Christina SOMEHOW got into a car wreck this past weekend down south.  Drugs? Alcohol?  Perhaps.  Stupid?  Definitely.

Slapshot to the Game: Congrats to all the peeps at the NHL on not figuring out how to divvy up the $3 Billion in revenue the league earns. Preseason games are now cancelled. Regular season starts October 11th. Talks resume tomorrow.  I see this crashing and burning faster than Mighty Ducks 3: Emilio and Me.

Lohan, Lohan, Go-Hand-In-Your-Driver’s-License:  This summer she smacked up a pretty nice Porsche. This month she apparently plowed into a dude while leaving the Dream nightclub in NYC.  The victim said Li-Lo smelled ‘like alcohol real bad.’  Lindsay denies this…and is suing the accuser for defamation of character, citing she is tired of being lied about by people to get a ‘quick paycheck.’  Good for you Linsday! Make sure you keep as much money as you can so you can keep smacking up Porsches.  Awesome.

NFL Replacement Ref Calls Decoded!

You Know What Else Was Aweome?!? The NFL Replacement Refs!!  Do they know how to call a touchdown or WHAT?!?   Here’s a nice illustration for you all of what exactly they were calling.  Now back to regularly enjoying your Sunday football the way it was supposed to be… yelling at the television ‘WHAT THE F*CK?!?!  HE WAS WIDE OPEN!!!’

BURN BABY, BURN: Boston!  One win out of LAST place and under .500.  Mets…. also under .500. How’s your Bobby Valentine NOW?!   But really, I’m disappointed that Dickey couldn’t blow his wad elsewhere.  Que lastima.

Speaking of seeing some good burn..  Yours truly finished her last tri of the season this past Sunday in Westchester.  A lackluster event for me, bu I still managed to achieve the goal of landing a slot to the Escape From Alcatraz race on March 3, 2013.  I tell you that riding through a 25-mile course on the streets of Rye and Greenwich, I’ve never seen so much CARNAGE.  I’ve seen less MEAT in a Kim Kardashian/Ray J sex tape…(or is that Kanye?)


Anywho… people gave up a LOT of skin in that race.  Yours truly was pretty happy to keep the bike upright while still clipping over 21 MPH on the back twelve miles of the course.  No crash…no burn.. and plenty cold in the SF Bay in March.  BRRR!

And last but(t) not least… crashing the Twitter feeds, pictures of a fat Lady Gaga. Proof that some hefty portions and too much cake can BURN anyone’s diet.

Enjoy your weekend kids.  Make your best effort to have your cake and eat it.  Come on back later this afternoon for a guy who loves to eat… Dr. Diz.

Champion’s Club: Free food!




Share Button
About Cookie 101 Articles
Cookie, like 7 fifths of the MTM staff, was brought in by The Franchise (Angry Ward). They met sitting near each other at a NY Rangers game. She's our Angelina Jolie in "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" - by day the fetching wife and young mother of two little boys; by night the hot, sports fanatic that mixes in triathlons and X-Treme sports with her love for the Yankees, Brooklyn Nets, NY Rangers and... Denver Broncos. She is, like most of the rotation, more than a bit sassy, bakes like nobody's business and is one smart... Cookie. She too, needs to be in a bikini as often as possible.