Esoteric Thoughts On Week 5 In NFL & MLB Playoffs

“I see a sponsorship from Vivid Video in your future.”

THE COUCH – This week we got to confirm some things we had suspected in the NFL & MLB. For example, no, the Arizona Cardinals aren’t that good.  Their 4-0 run crashed and burned in, of all places, St. Louis, who have too many fans for this site. True, the Rams are improved over last year, and the game was played at the Horny Dome (I’m done trying to remember corporate stadium names. And why does St. Louis even have a dome to begin with? Pussies).  But a really good team goes in there and wins.  The Cards didn’t and they’re not.

Rams promoting football to the youth.

In that vein, the Bengals showed themselves to be just as mediocre as they were last year.  After a fast 3-1 start, they managed to lose at home to Miami.  True, Miami has successfully shrugged off early concerns that they might be the absolute worst team in the league.  They can thank the Jags for that.  But a very good team beats Miami at home.  The big cats didn’t and they’re not.

Miami deserves props though because it’s always tough to win on the road, even against lesser competition, and this week just reinforced that truism.  KC and DC almost pulled off big upsets of the Ravens and Falcons.  And Washington came close despite RGIII getting his head handed to him. You don’t need to buy a bobble head of him anymore; just watch replays of that hit.  Paging Steve Pelluer.

Mike Singletary? Never heard of him.

But of course the prime example of road trouble was Green Bay losing in Indianapolis at the Corn Dome (more pussies).  The Pack’s a helluva a lot better than the Horse Shoes, so there was more to this than just home field advantage.  First, the Colts were fighting for their dying coach (there, I said it).  Second, the Pack’s not quite as good as they were last year.  We may need to find someone else in the NFC who can stand up to SF.

Meanwhile, Pittsburgh – with James Harrison and Rashard Mendenhall but without Troy Polamalu or LaMarr Woodely – managed to hold on at home against Eagles.  Playing at Sh!t Turf Stadium helped but really, this could have gone either way.  Both teams are very talented and fairly flawed.  Michael Vick is perhaps the most erratic quarterback in the league.  That’s what happens when legendary talent meets poor decision-making and nightmarish ball-safety.  Three more fumbles in this contest.  Meanwhile, no other roster comes close to the Steelers’ disparity between outstanding skill players and atrocious offensive line.  These two clubs can do anything anywhere.  And we mean anything.  Either could win the Lombardi Trophy or miss the playoffs altogether. Stay tuned.

No medals, no sin. Can we move on?

Let’s change it up…

Media: Will LoLo Jones please just go away already?  Am I the only one bored to tears by this faux celebrity?

Baseball: I was a big supporter of the single-game wild card system for baseball.  But now that we’ve done it once, I found it to be anti-climactic. There’s just so much more post-season baseball to get through that the games didn’t do much to excite me.

Speaking of what remains, that feel-good A’s story is rapidly coming to a halt, while that feel-good O’s story probably isn’t to far behind.  So much for the alphabet soup.  And speaking of pussies, I’m still in an utter state of disbelief that the Nuts are really sitting Stephen Strasburg during the post-season.  Number one: what the f*ck is he on your team for if you can’t use him in the post-season?  Number two: at least pitch him out of the bullpen in short relief. His arm won’t fall off from that.  Number three, you never know when you’re getting back here. And with that chicken-sh!t approach, I hope you never do. Cowards.

Later this afternoon, West Coast Craig bravely goes where no MTM writer has gone before.

In the meantime, go to the 1:35 mark for old footage of RGIII’s training video.

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About The Public Professor 79 Articles
Mattville's George Plimpton, The Public Professor, is indeed a real, honest-to-goodness, legitimate professor at a major Maryland university. But because he doesn't have a cell phone or cable, he's crazy enough to be with us. A member of Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse, the terrorized Bronx graffiti artist's by correcting their grammar. His loves? The Yankees, Knicks, NY Rangers and the Pittsburgh Steelers. He also has a real website: (