Cookie’s Corner: Craptastic Week in Sports & Celebrity News

NEW YORK, NY:  Another week gone and I’ve got my Christmas tree up and the menorah is getting lit, but nothin’ doin’ on the present-shopping front. Oh well.  Add that to the cold weather setting in and I’m feeling kinda Scroogie about it all. And the Craptastic Week in Sports & Celebrity News, didn’t help…

Cookie It's Cold Outside.
“Cookie, It’s Cold Outside”

1)  NHL: That stands for National Hockey League.  Does anyone remember what these guys do besides get all crabby at each other and have clandestine meetings that result in NOTHING?  Sure.  I’ve thought of going to a minor league hockey game, but the local Bridgeport Sound Tigers’ tickets are $40 a pop.  At that rate, I’ll just wait until next season when I can have someone PAY ME to take Section 411 nosebleed seats off my hands because everyone has been turned off to major league hockey.

2) LiLo A Go-Go:  Nope. My favorite starlette (who is looking more than four times her age these days) is now in danger of having her probation revoked and going to jail for eight months.  EIGHT MONTHS!  This is an OUTRAGE!  She hasn’t killed anyone (yet).  And really, who doesn’t like some jewelry and a good cat fight?  I mean… eight months could be BAD for this girl! Last I checked they don’t have collagen injections for the lips in prison and if she’s gonna be ANYONE’s girlfriend, it’s gotta be mine, Lori Levine’s or Cam James’. 

No Botox in the Big House

3) NFL:  Can these players stop with the vehicular manslaughter, murder/suicide, dead-beat-dad thing and ‘Dancing With the Stars?‘  ENOUGH!!!  And say what you will about the AFC, Short Matt. The Broncos are 10-3.  Suck it.

4) Unfair 5K’s: Last weekend I ran a 5k.  That’s the first one I’ve done that hasn’t had a 1/2 mile swim and 15+ mile bike ahead of it at the least. This 5K was up in New Haven and is more about the after party (ahem). Still, I wanted to run a decent 5k and was comfy and confident following 5 miles of hill-work the day before.  But did I really NEED to run with people who can run hungover and STILL be fast?  Yeah, my friend Peter ran it in 19 minutes and change… hungover and on three hours of sleep.   Anyone looking to trot out a bit and sport the MTM high-tech sports tops can run the Coogan’s 5K in Washington Heights on Sunday, 3/3/2013. Different Matt, Angry Ward, and yours truly will all be running.  Afterwards, we will all be drinking.  Be there.

Monkey Business
A Monkey That’s All Business

Speaking of unfair…

5) My favorite story of this week:  The Ikea Monkey is getting sadder and sadder with each passing day. Who can’t LOVE a monkey with a shearling coat tramping around Ikea?!  But he was taken by Animal Control, stripped of his coat and may not be returned to his owner. Yes… he’s a wild animal. But if he can wear a coat, how wild can he be?

6) Biebs Blown:  A plot to kill Justin Bieber  was foiled.  Damn.

7) Youk & PUKE:  Youk is a Yank.  I don’t like it.  And no, Boggs nor Damon were worse.  I watched Boggs get on the horse during Game 6 of the ’96 World Series and while that nearly made me puke – that wasn’t worse.  And while I hated “Mr. Looks Like Jesus, Acts Like Judas & Throws Like Mary” Johnny Damon, my hatred for Youk, with the Toilet Brush on his face, is ten-times worse. On the flip side, however, the Yanks get Mo for another year and the deal with Ichiro is all but done.  I’m OK with that.  Josh Hamilton gets to have West Coast Craig cheering for him and Shane Victorino is a Red Sox.  I’m OK with that too.

Bring on Christmas I guess. Dr. Diz & with College Football, tomorrow.

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About Cookie 101 Articles
Cookie, like 7 fifths of the MTM staff, was brought in by The Franchise (Angry Ward). They met sitting near each other at a NY Rangers game. She's our Angelina Jolie in "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" - by day the fetching wife and young mother of two little boys; by night the hot, sports fanatic that mixes in triathlons and X-Treme sports with her love for the Yankees, Brooklyn Nets, NY Rangers and... Denver Broncos. She is, like most of the rotation, more than a bit sassy, bakes like nobody's business and is one smart... Cookie. She too, needs to be in a bikini as often as possible.