Forget Heisman Trophy, Outland, etc. We’ve Got Real Awards, Like The Theismann

FORT WORTH, TX – It’s the time of year when we get to watch the Burl Ives snowman croons about ol’ Rudolf and NCAA College Pigskin hands out it’s awards.

There are so many awards, it is hard to keep track of em’ all. The Heisman, of course, is the most famous. It goes to the player voted most outstanding. There are also the Outland Trophy, Fred Biletnekoff Award, Maxwell Award, Walter Camp Award, Doak Walker Award, Davey O’Brien Award, Rimington Trophy, …etc., etc. etc. 24 major awards in all.

That’s more good will going around than you’d find down at the Elks Club during the holidays.

I’m proposing a few more…to recognize some of the bottom dwellers whose antics were like Joe Theismann’s leg… painful to watch.

The Pink Sport Coat Award goes to the Big East, aka the Big Least, for being stood up at the dance. All the purty schools are gone, leaving the league with ugly pugs like East Carolina to fill the void. Yuk.

Speaking of that, Rutgers wins the One Flew Over the Cukoo’s Nest Award for joining the Big Ten and actually thinking they can compete. The Big Ten get access to the New York market and an easy scheduled win for their major programs. Rutgers gets an ass whuppin.’ After all, they used to play Penn State regularly and went 2-22 against them, with one of the 2 wins coming back in 1918. Now they get to play Ohio State and Michigan. It’s gonna hurt.

Just ask Mizzou how the SEC felt this year when they got a big ol’ can of whup-ass opened up on them every week. Sometimes it’s better to stay where you were.

Bo Pellini wins the Massingale Award for being such a douche. And just for being Bo Pellini.

The Cinco de Mayo Award goes to Ohio State for winning the battle but losing the war as the Buckeyes manage to go undefeated in a probation season, thus not being able to play for the National Championship or in a bowl.

TCU garnered the coveted Cheech and Chong Award for having five, count em five, starters suspended from the team for pot and booze related incidents. Whoa… heavy, dude.

And no….we’re not giving anything to Penn State.

This week all you Matt heads who can, should head down to one of the best sports spectacles going; the annual Army/Navy game. If you’ve never had a chance live, go do it. It’s a unique atmosphere and tradition and something that should be on every fans bucket list.

Mules kick tough but the Midshipmen wear them down… Navy 26, Army 19.

What search for “Army cheerleaders” pulled up.

State High School Football Championships also continue in many places… Up in CT, undefeated Naugatuck Valley League champ Ansonia is in the class S state finals against undefeated North Branford and are favored to win. A crowd of over 10,000 is expected.

Down here in Texas, we are in round 4 (of six) of the playoffs. Attendance at last week’s round 3 Euless vs. Southlake Carrol game (won by Southlake) was over 40,000. Wow.

But then, 25% of the current NFL starting QB’s played their high school ball in Texas, so the level of competition, and entertainment value, are pretty dang good.

See ya at the game.

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About Dr. Diz 50 Articles
Doc Diz resides in Fort Worth, Texas for the past 15 years. When not playing old boys rugby or skiing, he is known for sampling Maker's Mark for its medicinal qualities. A native of Connecticut, the Doc has managed to move around enough to have lived in all four US time zones, which has allowed him to get a little perspective from west of the Hudson where guns, drilling for oil and gas and Big Gulp soda pops are still legal.