Dog Eat Dog. Rangers Spit Out “Torts”

Cheesy Bruin, NFL Picks,
Cheesy Bruin

Cheesy Bruins-ComputerNEW YORK, NY – Once a team exits the NHL playoffs there is an undeniable feeling of emptiness among its fan base and more so if they’re inclined to watch the remainder of the post season. For Rangers supporters there is a silver lining made possible by, of all things, a team from Boston. MTM friend Johnny Rox asked for an outsider’s view on John Tortorella’s firing and as we aim to please here at MTM, his wish is my command while I play Hockey Genie to Tommy Lasorda’s Dugout Wizard.

The primary suspect in John Tortorella losing his job is John Tortorella.  Ruining his gig with the Tampa Bay Lightning two seasons removed from winning the 2004 Stanley Cup, “Torts” similarly ruined his Rangers tenure albeit with limited success as the Blueshirts did reach the Eastern Conference Finals last year.  The NFL’s coach-quarterback marriage mimics hockey’s coach-goaltender union and  Johnny Law fails in this relationship among others despite great praise for his netminders.  Nikolai Khabibulin played out of his mind in winning the Cup but couldn’t get out of town fast enough due to loathing the bench boss and signed elsewhere that off season.  Wouldn’t a goalie want the opportunity to backstop his team to repeat championships?  Henrik Lundqvist sounded like he had one foot out the Broadway stage exit (because of Tortorella?) with one year left on his current contract when stating the uncertainty of a future with the team.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Athletes (PETA) fielded a few anonymous calls reporting Tortorella who apparently not only rubs the press the wrong way with a bully act.  As the coach mishandles young skaters (Kreider) by leaning on a trust level that retards progress with the parent club, imagine what prospects the organization are unable to accurately assess without the benefit of a learning curve.  In the same breath, Johnny Boy trusts his goalies too much by running them into the blue painted crease under the ice.  Just a thought but maybe your goalies hate you for treating them like machines by playing them 70+ times a year before the playoffs even start.  Coincidently, and you can’t make this stuff up, Tortorella is an advocate against animal abuse but mistreats his sled dogs wearing the Rangers sweater by mandating physical sacrifice whenever opponents shoot the puck or by publicly criticizing an aspect of a player’s game.  Yes, I’m talking about the injured Ryan Callahan and Carl Hagelin who both may miss the start of 2014.

Up until the Bruins series I was pro-Tortorella but that quickly changed as he lost the team within a week and had to go.  GM Glen Sather saved his own hide with the firing and bought himself more time as his seat gets infinitely hotter.  Afforded the chance to hire a new coach, this will be his last hire especially if he can lure Mark Messier away from his “Special Consulting” title as #11 won’t be fired by Jim Dolan but moved to GM once his coaching efforts are over.

DJ Eberle, tomorrow.

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About Cheesy Bruin 491 Articles
A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.