Braves secret behind 13-game win streak, Hero & Villain of the Week

Braves Secret Shake

Atlanta, GA – Fans at Turner Field stadium are abuzz with more than just lite beer today.  It’s the start of a 3-game home stand against the – bottom of the barrel – Florida Marlins.  The Bravos are taking a 13-game win streak and (70-45 record) into tonight’s game and a staggering 15.5 game lead over the Washington Nationals, their closest rival in the NL East.

Remember my prediction at the beginning of the season?  Well, I won’t toot my own horn quite yet but looks like my beloved Braves are on a warpath right to their next NL East Pennant.

What’s the secret, you ask?  Well, here’s the skinny from their skip Fredi Gonzalez who has been given a secret protein cocktail to drink before each game during the streak:

“They may be giving me poop. I don’t even know what it is,” Gonzalez said. “But I’ve been drinking them for 13 days in a row now. We’re superstitious, you know.”

Nice to know how all the money pumped into baseball statistics theory, and the salaries of managers and their staff has resulted in such a sophisticated winning strategy…

Turtle's last resort?
Turtle’s last resort?

Speaking of Florida (too big a leap?), in researching for my Hero of the Week, I came across a heart-warming story about Sarasota Police Officer Derek Conley, who helped save nearly a 100 baby sea turtles last weekend.  Ok, cue the “ahhhhhs” …

Grab a tissue yet?  Well, don’t cause this story is a bit darker than it seems.  Apparently these little flopping delinquents were headed towards the front lobby of the Lido Beach Resort!

Hard partying turles
Hard partying turtles

Now I did a little research on this topic and these critters are supposed to head out to sea, or the most open area on the horizon.  But the Lido Beach Resort?!

And some of them were found wandering aimlessly around the parking lot.  It is Preacher Collins’ contention that Officer Conley was called to break up a public disturbance of some kind caused by these hard partyin’ young turtles looking for a good time.

Now moving on to the Hero & Villain of the Week!

Turtle "Whisperer" Conley
Turtle “Whisperer” Conley

Hero of the Week:  Derek Conley

For helping a bunch of drunk cute sea turtles get home safely after a night out on the town.

Villain of the Week:  The NCAA
NCAA's Compliance Team
NCAA’s Compliance Team

For being the greedy, deceptive, exploitative college sports association that we all knew about but now can prove.

The latest “Jersey gate” scandal was brought to light by Junior Blabber earlier this week.  I hope the NCAA’s profits and revenues from selling individual college athletes jerseys online and any other channel, are donated to a each respective player’s local fraternity or sorority to fund their next non-alcoholic social gathering.

That’s all for Preacher’s Row for now, be safe, be kind and stay tuned for my Cheesy Bruin manana.
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About Preacher Collins 22 Articles
Glen "Preacher" Collins is a the quintessential southern baseball junkie and God-fearing man. You may see him toiling in amateur baseball leagues with the likes of Cam James and Short Matt... His teams are all-Atlanta - that's where he's from. Is his love for the Braves innate? Maybe. After all, he is 1/16 Cherokee. Check him out on Saturdays for Preacher's Row.