NEW YORK, NY – It’s been at least a couple of weeks since I last purged myself of some Mets directed vitriol. I feel a bit backed up so please consider this a catharsis of sorts.
Last week it was announced that new MLB Commissioner Manfred Mann had made a few changes in the leadership positions of several of the league’s Committees. For example, Manfred appointed Fred Wilpon to head MLB’s Finance Committee. The responsibilities of this position include fiscal responsibility, investigating any budget malfeasance and other investment related activity by major league teams. A perfect spot for someone who conspired with Bernie Madoff in a $65B ponzi scheme, and who maintains a Pocatello, Idaho sized team payroll in the world’s biggest market.
In an actual Fox Sports interview yesterday, Manfred gushed, “I’m a huge fan of Sandy Alderson. I think Sandy Alderson is as good a general manager today as there is in the game. You could go back 20 years and argue that he’s one of the best.”
Maybe Manfred was Blinded by the Light, but his judgment is seriously flawed apparently. Other committee appointments made by Manfred include installing Joseph Mengele as head of Surgery at Long Island Jewish Hospital, and awarding Jesse Friedman an off-site childcare franchise for players’ kids. As sports people in 2015 are fond of saying, the “optics” on the Wilpon appointment are very poor. Another gigantic FU to Met fans in particular.
Speaking of FUs to Met fans everywhere, (Real) Sandy Alderson was given the honor of presenting an award to Hall of Famer Cal Ripken, Jr at the Baseball Writers Association Dinner last week. First question-what the hell has Real Sandy ever done to be tabbed as a presenter of an award to a Hall of Fame ballplayer? And a Shortstop to boot? Never one to pass on a chance to arrogantly jab Met fans about his own incompetence and weird detachment from his responsibilities. Sandy announced upon introducing Ripken that he was at long last, presenting New York with a Shortstop. Four years after letting Jose Reyes walk for nothing, Sandy still can’t fill the position. Unless you want to count Wilmer Flores-speaking of shortstops to boot.
Metsblog.com is a website “sponsored” by SNY, the Mets TV network (in which they hold under-water levels of equity now). Metsblog “polled” its readers recently and they claim that 58% would rate Sandy’s offseason as no worse than a “C.” Not sure what Sandy would have to not do to be graded less than that… He signed Michael Cuddyer, a 36-year old oft-injured bad defensive outfielder whose last couple of years were spent in Disneyland-aka Coors Field in Colorado. Then Sandy went back to Palm Springs for the Winter where he’s been comfortably ensconced watching Murder She Wrote marathons with the other World War I vets with whom he lives in an assisted living facility.
The Mets announced last week that – seemingly out of nowhere and having done next to nothing all winter – ticket sales have shot up nearly 20%! No other MLB team, not the Yankees, Giants, Cardinals, have reported an increase in ticket revenues of as much as even 5% this winter! Industry average for this time of year is about 3.7% The Mets are anxious to demonstrate that former VP Ticket Sales Leigh Castergine was fired not for being pregnant out of wedlock by the morally superior Jeffy Wilpon but rather for poor performance. With Castergine’s successor in place, the team has miraculously realized a record breaking spike in ticket sales just as Jeffy’s sexual discrimination trial is about to get under way.
Whatever shred of hope Met fans may have had when Bud Selig abdicated his throne have been doused indefinitely by this new Michael Strahan-toothed MLB Commish. Incredibly, he may be even more sympathetic to the Wilpons than Selig was. These are your 2015 New York Mets.
Come back tomorrow for Different Matt, a man with zero gaps in his teeth.
