Fake Sandy Alderson
Punched In Face: Joey Bats Bautista, Mets Out West, Kevin Durant
MOOSE JAW, SK – Something fishy overcomes you when you cross the Rainbow Bridge and enter Her Majesty’s Government. Yes, part of that may well be the “gentlemen’s clubs” that dot the beautiful streets of Windsor, Brantford and Niagara Falls like Dunkin’ Donuts and CVS do here in the States where we’re not all afraid […]
Baseball P*ssies Jake Arrieta & Joe Maddon: Bryce Harper Ain’t Barry Bonds
WHITEFISH, MT – My all out effort to knock Genius Joe Maddon down a couple of couple of pegs seems to be losing steam. Particularly after his Cubs just finished a 4-game sweep of the Washington Nationals. At 24-6, the Cubs own baseball’s best record. The White Sox in the very same city, have 22 […]
“Minimalist Zany?” Hey Cubs–Win Something First!
SKOKIE, IL – Well that wacky genius Joe Maddon is at it again. Sitting atop the Baseball world having won 18 of the Cubs‘ first 24 games, the Chicago Skipper is riding high. And why not? Maddon is the toast of the town in Chicago. Statues, parades have already been erected and held in his […]
No More Brady Talk! Goodell v Conrad Dobler, Isles and Mets Own NYC
JAMAICA ESTATES, NY – I fear that the airwaves and water cooler conversations over the next 5 months will be engorged with nothing but Deflategate; the Roger Goodell versus Tom Brady nonsense. Most of the time I agree that anything is better than a sharp stick in the eye. Not in this case. Go ahead […]
These Are NOT Your Father’s Yankees
BRONX, NY – Bryce Harper, Matt Harvey, and Jake Arrieta will all be free agents after the 2018 MLB Season. Manny Machado, the brilliant young Baltimore 3rd baseman will be free to sign anywhere the year after that. I can only guess that this is part of Yankees GM Brian Cashman’s grand plan to remake […]
Deep Thoughts with Fake Sandy Alderson: MLB, Mets
PANIC CITY, BLOCK C – A couple of years ago, my 4-year-old niece found herself in a bit of hot water. Seems she had drawn all over her brother’s homework. When “called on the carpet” to face these charges, she stalled and grinned for a good 5 minutes before finally blurting out, “I want cake!” […]
Sports Mount Rushmore: Kobe Done, Peyton Gone, Big Papi to Follow
“Please allow me to introduce myself. I’m a man of wealth and taste. I’ve been around for a long, long years…” PANIC CITY, NY – Who better to frame a year in which we’ve seen the retirements of several iconic players across Baseball, Football, and Basketball than the Rolling Stones? Some guys just know when […]
David Wright, Wrestlemania! Oh, and ESPN Still Sucks
SANDS POINT, NY – Sunday night was sheer bedlam at The FSA Compound. The day started with hellacious winds that overwhelmed even the vaunted preparation of the Long Island Power Authority (LIPA). The normally stalwart utility – that rose to fame during SuperStorm Sandy three plus years back – saw over 25,000 “customers” on Long […]
Mets Matt Harvey and The Angel of Death
RAY RAMIREZ RETIREMENT VILLAGE, HELL –Matt Harvey is in jeopardy of missing his Opening Day start this Sunday against the World Champion Kansas City Royals. Why? Who knows? The Mets aren’t saying-and that includes Manager Terry Collins and General Manager Real Sandy Alderson. The Mets were quick yesterday to diffuse and refute any potential arm […]
Overrated Kevin Durant, Warriors vs Cavs, Harvey Not Mets Worry
JACKSON, MS—He stands at least 7 feet tall. He can shoot it from behind the arc better than anyone that size who’s ever played in the NBA. He’s smooth, can handle the ball, and take over games when his shot is falling. He’s also among the most overrated players I’ve seen in nearly 40 years of […]
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