Sports Jackasses: World Cup, ESPN/ABC, Jason Pierre-Paul

imagesR9ZPUZXTSummertime means there is even less television programming worth watching–so little in fact, I came across and stayed on MTV2 for Jackass 3.5 several nights ago. There’s something about adults who haven’t grown up and abuse their bodies with sophomoric stunts for our pleasure. Yes, I was drinking quite a bit this evening in question but that’s no excuse. There has been no shortage of sports idiots recently and here’s a look at a few for some debate.

The women’s soccer World Cup was held in various venues across Canada where the favored Americans won the trophy and are currently on their victory tour. I didn’t know what the abbreviation USWNT meant until I tuned in for two minutes of a match one day where the announcers rammed it down viewers throats. Make no mistake, I’m glad for our nation and all the ladies involved to further promote the sport among our little girls but to drum up the argument “equal pay for equal play” on its heels is jackass-ish.
Two examples? There was woman’s Pro Fastpitch Softball played during a beautiful Florida evening and televised on the CBS Sports Network where it looked like a family reunion was being held and doubled as the audience. So quiet was the atmosphere you could hear players rooting each other on during the “action”. The WNBA has been around a lot longer than I ever thought it would be but it’s only a matter of time when the plug is pulled since average attendance is in the 7,000 range filling less than half of arena capacity. When the ladies generate revenue like the fellas do, a discussion can be had but until then, if I want to see women acting like men, I’ll watch Julie Andrews in Victor/Victoria.
espn bruNow for a man acting/looking(?)/becoming a woman through hormone treatments and elective surgery comes Caitlyn Jenner and every opportunist serving as pimp to this new whore. The Espy’s, the sports world’s equivalent to the Oscars, were held as it awkwardly is this past week. The celebrated Arthur Ashe Award for courage is bestowed upon a deserved athlete but was shamelessly given to a chick who used to have a “stick” and is a long retired sports figure from forty years ago. ABC is the parent company of ESPN who aired the ratings-busting Diane Sawyer interview with CJ and wanted to cash in a little more on this dog and pony show. Up next is the premiere of a new series “I Am Cait” on E! and shortly thereafter, like every other media-hound, will be the sex tape entitled They Call Me Bruce.

These two issues have taken my attention away from retreating drunken amateur matadors during the Running of The Bulls in Pamplona, Spain.  Anybody who aspires to be impaled by an animal’s horns should not resist participating in this rodeo clown training.


Jason Pierre-Paul has earned over $17M for playing professional football but didn’t want to pay a Grucci decendant or other dumb Italian to light his cache of fireworks.  The Giants defensive end is now the Johnny Knoxville of the NFL after blowing up his now amputated right index finger.  Way to go jackass!

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About Cheesy Bruin 491 Articles
A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.