Angry Ward Wednesday: Old Guys Rule and Houston Has a Problem

BRONX, NY – I’m glad that, yesterday, Ben Whitney finally ended the streak of no one on this site writing about the NFL Draft. He saved me the trouble of taking on that thankless task and absolutely roasted Giants GM Dave Gettleman in the process. Well done! Speaking of Davey G., he’s 68 years old. It never ceases to amaze me how old white guys are able to gain and hold on to positions of power in this country, even as their faculties are clearly in decline.

Who put these guys in charge?

Jerry Jones is 76 and will relinquish the Cowboys when they pry what remains of that once-storied franchise out of his cold dead liver-spotted hands. Just like what happened with Al Davis and the Raiders, except Davis probably realized that his kid and his Three Stooges bowl cut wasn’t fit to run a potato sack race, let alone an NFL team. Donald Trump is 72, hasn’t told the truth about anything ever, has the mental capacity of slow-witted toddler, and he’s going to run for a second term! His biggest challenger, currently, is Joe Biden, who is 76! I know that football owners are welcome to own their teams until they are mouldering in a grave, but when are we going to break this string of letting ancient white guys hold such great influence over our lives? I’m not asking for some lunatic over-correction like letting a bunch of Sean McVays take charge, but there’s got to be a middle ground and, please, get more women involved. OK, I gotta change gears here before I get an angry response from my friends at AARP.

The Houston Rockets are a big bunch of whining weenies. It needed to be said. I’m writing this two hours before tipoff of Game 2 with their series against the Golden State Warriors, and the Rockets have been crying like babies for days about getting jobbed in Game 1. They even reviewed Game 7 from last year’s series like it was the Zapruder film, and said that the NBA cheated them then too. Mind you, this was a game when they missed 27 straight 3-pointers. This team needs to shut up and play. Can you even imagine this Rockets team having to play in the 1970s or 1980s? They wouldn’t make it through half a quarter without going home and crying to their mommies. You want to beat the World Champs, go out and beat them. You have the players to do it! Show some mental toughness fer crissakes! You think it’s rigged? Maybe it is? So was boxing back in the day, and the best way to make sure you didn’t get hosed was knocking the other guy the f**k out. Look, if was betting on Tuesday night’s game, I would bet the Rockets on the money line (getting no points) and even predict they will win it straight up by double digits. But that ain’t gonna happen on the foul line or by crying to the refs. Knock down your shots, Houston, or shut the f**k up.

I’m still a little under 500 words, so room for one more quick note. Those folks in Nashville somehow managed to turn the NFL Draft into a full-blown southern-fried football Woodstock. That place was packed! Funny how you can get people to turn out for “the rest of the draft” by keeping the beer and BBQ flowing. Whoever put that thing together should be given majority control of the Tennessee Titans now.

Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, who can talk about how Kevin Durant is going to come play for the Knicks and win absolutely nothing.


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About Angry Ward 673 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.