NEW YORK, NY – While we wait for Big Ben Whitney to regroup after his Stanks experienced a Royal flush, we have the following from the click-bait friendly BREAKING Department: Stanton Gets To 1st, Jets Fire Saleh, Mets Party
Stanton Gets To 1st
Lo and behold, Mike Giancarlo Stanton, reports are indicating, has finally made it to first base on the double-play ball he hit last night. We have not fully vetted this information, but it seems sound. This all took place during his team losing to tiny market Kansas City in the Bronx. SIDE NOTE: Bronx Bummers Aaron Judge and Juan Soto didn’t live up to the billing… yet.
Jets Fire Saleh
Gang Green fans are seemingly stunned but giddy about this rare in-season jettisoning of a #NFL Head Coach, in this case Rob Saleh. “You don’t have time to fart around when you have an old fart under center.” A Jets Exec allegedly said.
Mets Party
We’ll be at the ballpark for a bona ride MLB Playoffs tailgate by 2:30 pm, thanks to our pal Buffalo Joe! Win or lose, we’re getting snockered!
Comment below and stay tuned for Big Ben Whitney.
