NEW YORK, NY – Whaddaya know, another wonderful Wednesday is upon us! The NFL season is getting ready for the homestretch, MLB’s hot stove is just getting warmed up, while the NBA and NHL are like a fifth and sixth of the way done respectively. Let’s take a look around and see what’s worth discussing. But first, a word on a certain Netflix event this past weekend.
You Can’t Spell Suckers Without US. If you were one of the hapless millions that were curious enough to tune into the Mike Tyson/Jake Paul debacle this past Friday night, I have zero sympathy for you. I mean, we’re still a free country, so you’re free to watch and believe whatever you like, but don’t expect those of us with half a brain left (I think I have just about half) to follow suit. I’m done tasting from the bottomless trough of mindless slop this country serves up on the regular, but you go ahead and get out those novelty spoons and have at it. For the rest of us, heed Public Enemy and don’t believe the hype.
Dan Campbell is a Bit of an A-Hole. Let me start by saying that, despite the fact that they’re in the same division as my Vikings, I’ve always liked the Detroit Lions. I also can appreciate what lunatic Dan Campbell has done to not only make them relevant, but actually a genuine Super Bowl contender. That said, running the score up on the pathetic Jaguars and their backup quarterback this past Sunday in Detroit was some bush league bullsh!t. I can see keeping your starters in for the 3rd Quarter but keeping them in up 42-6 entering the 4th, is effing insufferable. So is tacking on another Jared Goff touchdown pass and a 54-yard field goal. Keep this kinda crap up and you’ll run across a team, player, or coach who will not take it kindly. If Campbell does envision a SB run, he may want to do everything he can to keep his starters safe and off the IR.
Kirk Cousins. Hey, Atlanta, how are you enjoying Kirk Cousins so far? A fun ride with lots of twists and turns, peaks and valleys, amirite? Still, first place is first place, even in that garbage division. So, enjoy while you can. I’ve seen this movie many times, and the ending never fails to disappoint.
Jets Fire GM Joe Douglas. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Has Woody Johnson signed over ownership papers to Aaron Rodgers yet or what?
Todd Monken Must Go. Speaking of firing, when are the Baltimore Ravens going to get around to sh!tcanning Offensive Coordinator Todd Monken? I know 8-year-olds who could do a better job. You’re stuck in a close, defensive battle with the Steelers and you completely abandon Derrick Henry and the running game? You don’t even bring him in as a decoy on what would be the game-tying 2-point conversion??? Let’s do a little simple math, shall we? Derrick Henry has played in every game this year. In those games he’s carried the ball at least 20 times the Ravens are 4-0. In those games he’s carried it fewer than 20 times, they are 3-4. It’s worth adding that in all but one of the games with under 20 carries he was averaging better than four yards a carry, sometimes much, much better. How can Monken not figure this out? There’s no defense for this guy keeping his job. Cripes!
Okay, I’m done for today. Tune in tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, who watched The Two Jakes while eating some Tyson chicken fingers last Friday. A wiser choice.
