NEW YORK, NY – The Super Bowl is over, thankfully. Actually, it was over around halftime, and that’s fine. As much as we all wanted it to be a great game, sometimes you get the football equivalent of every single team in Major League Baseball this past season vs. the Chicago White Sox. On the bright side, at least for a couple of weeks, we get a reprieve from the nonstop NFL news cycle. Though, I gotta be honest, I can’t believe Goodell and the Good Ol’ Boy Network (the owners) haven’t figured out a draft lottery angle yet. You’re telling me these guys wouldn’t love another spectacle before the draft where they take like the 5 worst teams in the league and have them participate in a lottery to see who gets the #1 pick? Might make for less late-season tanking and these morons could find a way to stretch it into an insufferable 3 hours of primetime TV. You know what? Forget I said anything. Okay then, let’s talk about some other stuff.
The God Squad Wins the Super Bowl. According to Eagles’ head coach Nick Sirianni and quarterback Jalen Hurts, God was very much responsible for Philly winning this year’s Super Bowl. That doesn’t seem very fair, having God as your 12th man. I fault the lousy officials for not calling it. Also, I missed last year’s postgame press conference after Tampa Bay absolutely dismantled the Eagles. Did either Sirianni or Hurts blurt out a single: Why hast thou forsaken us? I just wish next time someone would share this info. In the meantime, someone put a good word in for the Vikings, wouldja?
The Butler Did It? It’s still way too early, but my Golden State Warriors have won their first two games since Jimmy Butler joined them in the middle of a 7-game road swing. As I said already, this is far too small a sample size, so let me temper my expectations by saying that they are definitely going to make it to the Western Conference Finals, at least. Just kidding… kinda. I really don’t see how this goes anywhere near that well but, if it does, that would be one heck of a trade deadline Hail Mary completion.
New York Goes Back to the Dogs. For the first time in four years, the Westminster Dog Show is back in Manhattan. This year’s favorite in the Toy competition is a rare bald, befuddled and, bedraggled Pekingese named Short Matt. Just kidding, I know almost nothing about this show. I do know that if I took my dog Griffey to it, he would absolutely wreck it. Facts. The only other thing that needs to get said is that Westminster was my introduction to Robert Smigel’s genius, Triumph the Insult Dog. All these years later, this early bit from Conan is still hilarious.
On that note, I’m gonna get on out of here. Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, who will be offering rum to Jobu in hopes of delivering the Yankees a title in 2025.
