BALTIMORE, MD: The wind is a blowin’ and February is a draggin’, but The Matts demand for content is insatiable. They give no figs that it’s February and there is not much going on. The Four Nations Tournament is great and has pretty much embarrassed all other sports, but there’s not much more to say about it. Luckily, Justin Tucker provided some cannon fodder. Let’s kick it off!
In case you missed it (wide right), and I did the first time around (doink, off the post), Justin Tucker, arguably the best kicker in NFL history, has now been accused of inappropriate sexual behavior by a whopping 16 massage therapists. That’s not quite Desaun Watson-esque, but it’s in the ballpark.
This is terrible behavior of course, especially with a wife and kid, and I don’t mean to make light of it, but there are a few serious wtf allegations that need to be explored. And like I said, it’s a slow news day. Sometimes you have to grab the low-hanging banana.
One accuser said that Tucker “…made intense eye contact throughout a massage while exposed.”
This is probably the same face he makes if a team tries to ice him with a time out before a game winning field goal. But in this context, it’s freakin’ creepy.
More than one accused him of leaving what appeared to be ejaculate on the table.
What do you think he yelled when releasing said ejaculate?
Tucker drills it right down the middle.
Double doink!
It’s good.
Another claimed that he made it a point to expose his erect penis (like a goalpost) and kept re-exposing it after she kept re-draping him.
Or in other words, she kept covering it up and he kept whipping it out. Hey, you can’t blame a guy for wanting to let it breathe. But dude, these are fancy hotels with reputations to protect. Go to a seedy rub and tug joint, they’re everywhere. Er, or so I’ve heard. Let’s move on.
Maybe the news of these allegations contributed to Tucker’s poor season, but they allegedly occurred from his rookie year to 2016. Coincidentally, 2016 is the birth year of his only son with his college sweetheart wife. Maybe he cut this behavior off once he became a dad. Can we give him a point (extra) for that?
Tucker has three more years under contract and is 35-years-old. That’s not that old for a kicker and the Ravens might believe 2024 was an aberration and he has a couple of good years left. I don’t think they’ll cut him.
It will never cease to amaze me how guys with this much money ($51 million in career earnings) behaving this way. Pay for your seediness behind closed doors, there is a market for it. You know, or so I’m told. And why is this coming out like 9-13 years later? Did Tucker piss off Elon Musk?
That’s it for me. Come tomorrow for Angry Ward, who makes intense eye contact with guys at the next urinal at Mets games.
