TAMPA, FL – BREAKING NEWS FROM TAMPA: The New York Yankees announced that their starting catcher, Austin Wells, is tired. He won’t play in any exhibition games until March 1st.
The 25-year-old Wells had three and a half months to rest up and get ready for the 2025 season. He has been taking swings off a batting machine and standing in the batter’s box without swinging, while a live pitcher is pitching to a catcher.
Manager Aaron Boone claimed he’s going to take it easy with Wells (as though he really has any say in this theory.) In reality the ANALytical experts, who never played the game, came up with this formula to rest Wells so he’ll be productive in September and the postseason.
Wells’ response was, “ I’m just not ready yet, just taking it slow.” It leads me to think, what would Munson say to this, or even Posada? Add Rick Cerone and Butch Wynegar to that list of past backstops.
The Yankees and Wells response has created a whole new meaning to a catcher’s term of, “Tools of Ignorance.”
Manager Boone, who comes from a family of baseball royalty coined in,“ It’s just how much he played down the stretch,” as he defended the tired Wells.
Wells ended the 2024 season playing in 115 games. He batted .111 in September and .120 during the playoffs. Boone brought out more baby wipes when he said, “Fatigue led to the slumping.” Boone’s grandfather, father and brother all played in the major leagues. For him to fall into the bullsh*t of babying today’s players speaks volumes of not only the game, but our society. May the greats rest in peace while the scrubs just rest.
Let’s see if the Yankees Brain Trust orders a bunkbed and adds Captain Aaron Judge to the top of the “get your rest” list.
