THE BRONX, NY – The Rangers and Knicks are headed for disappointing ends to their seasons and the NFL draft is a few weeks away from getting interesting. So we’ve got baseball – Torpedo Bats, Jazzy Wall-scrapers, a strike out fiesta by a Red Sox, and a Mets Win… without Lindor. It will be a heyday of fun!
Damn the Torpedoes
The torpedo, bowling pin bat thing is kinda cool from an ingenuity standpoint. You can’t really improve the equipment to get an advantage in most sports. No, deflating balls doesn’t count. Maybe the curved blade of a hockey stick is a good comparison.
Purists and Yankees haters are overreacting all over the internet, and have already created a meme with Aaron Judge using a huge bat, even though he’s still using the old bats. But hey, never let facts get in the way of a good story, or meme in this case. Or as we like to like to call it, Junoiring. They also will ignore the fact that several teams have toyed with these bats, including in spring training in 2024. So settle down, they’re legal. And as Brad Pitt playing Billy Beane said in Moneyball, “adapt or die.”
An intriguing part of the story to me is that Big G Stanton was using them to hit missiles in the postseason last year, but nobody mentioned it then. Did they? But now he apparently blames the new bats for his elbow injuries that have delayed the start to his season. Maybe we should slow down with these things to make sure they don’t mess up your elbows. Like in the movie The Jerk (look it up kids) when Navin’s eyeglass invention made everyone cross-eyed. But it’s probably safe to assume Stanton would have gotten hurt anyway.
Let’s see if the Yankees keep putting up 3 TDs (missed an extra point) on teams or if the Brewers just stink. It’s not a good sign when a position player makes a relief appearance in consecutive games.
Jazzy Wall-scraping in the Cleanup Spot
After regular-bat Judge hit a first inning homer on Sunday, after hitting 3 with 8 RBIs on Saturday, the Brewers decided it might be a good idea to stop pitching to him. The beneficiary was Jazz Chisholm, the bowling bat user hitting in the coveted spot after Judge. The Jazz-man hit 3 HRs in the series including a short-porch wall-scraper on Sunday. A short-porch wall-scraper at Yankee Stadium wouldn’t have been out of a few little league parks, but Jazz will be an interesting guy to keep an eye on this year, especially if he keeps him behind Judge.
Around the League, Mets Win
One guy who might need a new bat is Raphael Devers. My man has started the season 0 for 19 with 15 strikeouts. Reminds Short Matt of happy hour in his twenties.
Pete Alonso started earning his relatively reasonable salary with a grand salami, and David Peterson had 9 Ks over 6 innings to help the Mets get on track. Lindor missed the game to attend the birth of his child. The dude doesn’t start hitting until June anyway, so maybe he should stay home with the kid for a few weeks. Help out Mom. Work on that swing when the baby is keeping you up at night. Congrats to the Lindors!
That’s all I got, I guess. Come back tomorrow for Angry Ward.
