NEW YORK, NY – After the Houston Cougars defeated Duke University to earn a slot in the finals, an embarrassing incident took place. Hall of Fame alumni Hakeem Olajuwon tried to make his way towards the players so he could celebrate their victory, until he was denied by a moron who was labeled a security guard.
The clueless guard, who would definitely fit right inside Yankee Stadium with the rest of the low-IQ security detail, blocked the path of the legend known as “The Dream.” His common sense couldn’t figure out who this 7-foot Cougars and Rockets legend was. Olajuwon took it all in stride, as this gentle giant laughed off the incident later on that night. The dumbo of a guard should be shipped to da Bronx where common sense isn’t so common.
In Yankeeland, it starts in the front office. Common sense is absent on all fronts, especially re the lineup. Cashman & Co. refuse to acknowledge that the 26-man roster has absolutely no reliable bench players. Then it spreads to the ANALytic idiots, who provide the messenger of a manager in Aaron Boone a different lineup every game that has power hitters leading off.
The power trip continues onto the field, where the clueless security staff is there just to harass the fans, the media, and everybody else who doesn’t wear pinstripes. The moron who denied Olajuwon a glory moment would fit right in with these bullies, who leave a sour taste to the fan base, and the reporters who are molded by fright for not reporting it.
Olajuwon is one of the nicest human beings that there is, so let me be the one to tell that idiot of a guard to go apply for a position up in da Bronx, where he’ll fit in with the other a-holes there.
