NIAGARA FALLS, NY – Happy Monday, Well folks, the kids are home for the next couple weeks—one for two, the other for one—which means my house is about to turn into a cross between a daycare and a WWE training facility. And no, despite last week’s heated hot dog discourse, I’ve been ordered by management to avoid the topic. So let’s get to today’s topics: NY Rangers Review, NFL Draft and Rory McIlroy.
NY Rangers Review
The Rangers’ 2025 campaign can be summed up by the number three. Three separate losing streaks (including a brutal 5-gamer), yet never managing a 3-game win streak. It was hockey’s version of a treadmill – lots of movement but going nowhere fast.
GM Chris Drury, who looked like a genius last season riding Jeff Gorton’s roster to a Presidents’ Trophy, suddenly had to actually work this year. His deadline moves? Too little, too late. The Tarasenko trade and bringing back Patrick Kane last year looked brilliant until the Conference finals. This season he didn’t sign the pair and unceremoniously dumped Barclay Goodrow rather than pay him and then after bad mouth Jacob Trouba was finally able to move him for squad guy and picks. He brought JT Miller back and he added life but Drury also traded 2/3rds of the kid line away. .
Last year’s strengths became this year’s weaknesses:
Igor Shesterkin went from Vezina winner to merely mortal
The power play lost its spark, becoming more predictable than a dad joke
The defense? Let’s just say opponents had more open looks than a 7-Eleven at 2 AM
The silver lining? It’s over. Now Drury must fix this mess – starting with a blue line that couldn’t stop a sneeze. At least we can spend the summer dreaming about trades that probably won’t happen.
Final Thought: This season was like a magic show where the magician forgets the trick. Lots of buildup, then… nothing. Here’s to hoping next year’s act is better.
The NFL Draft
The NFL Draft is almost here and honestly, I’m exhausted just thinking about it. My feed is flooded with mock drafts, “expert” predictions, and endless speculation about where some kid from Nowhere State will land. At this point, I don’t care if Jack goes first or last—just PICK THEM so we can move on with our lives.
I love football, but the draft hype is like waiting in line at the DMV—painful, slow, and full of people overanalyzing things that don’t matter yet. My phone buzzes with alerts like, “BREAKING: Team might trade up… or down… or stay put!” Wow. Riveting.
Can we fast-forward to the season already? Or at least to the part where my fantasy league mates argue over rookies they’ll drop by Week 3?
Rory McIlroy
Rory McIlroy finally completed the career Grand Slam at The Masters! After a decade of Augusta heartbreak that had us all aging like milk in the sun, the man’s now one of just six players ever to pull off this feat. Watching him duel Justin Rose all Sunday was like watching two guys at the driving range who forgot they’re supposed to be retired.
At 34, Rory’s now entering that “distinguished gentleman” phase of his career where:
– His trophy case needs its own ZIP code
– The Senior Tour starts sending him AARP applications
– And we all pretend he’s not counting gray hairs in his beard (before he shaves it)
But today? Today we let the man enjoy his pimento cheese sandwich in peace. Because after 10 years of “Will he ever win the Masters?” takes, Rory’s finally answered with the only stat that matters.
Comment below. Catch you next week—same time, same questionable sports takes. Ben Whitney is up tomorrow and I don’t think he will talk about the Rangers, although he is the best hockey guy we got.
