NEW YORK, NY – So, tomorrow is the much, much, much over-discussed and over-analyzed NFL Draft, in that entertainment mecca known as Green Bay, Wisconsin. Yessir, if you like lotsa cheese, and days of accompanying constipation, this is the draft for you! Who knows, maybe Aaron Rodgers will parachute in and somehow make it all about him. What I do know is that, outside of Round 1, this draft will not be one of great consequence for my Vikings, who only have a handful of picks. With that being the case, I’m going to stick to New York’s football and baseball teams today.
Giants. Since last season ended in another crash-and-burn, all of us in the New York Metropolitan area have been bombarded almost non-stop with hot takes about what the Giants should do/might do in the upcoming draft. Well folks, I’ve finally decided to jump into the fray and simplify things. Seeing as how they’re sitting at #3, and there have been three top guys mentioned for months, the Giants should take whoever is available out of Cam Ward, Travis Hunter, or Abdul Carter. I still think Hunter is the no-brainer if he falls to them. I just don’t think they can possibly justify taking Shedeur Sanders there, especially after going out and signing Wilson and Winston. Guess we’re going to find out soon enough.
Jets. I don’t care who the Jets take but, like always, I hope it’s someone funny. Remember Zach “Bob’s Big Boy” Wilson? I sure do! Still howling over that one. You know what would be amazing? Shedeur Sanders. You might laugh, but I believe in the Jets 100% when it comes to delivering unintentional comedy.
Yankees. Nah, I don’t want to talk about no stinkin’ Yankees. Just kidding. Well, for starters, I’m glad we’re done with Torpedopalooza. I haven’t seen such useless over-hyped bat buzz since The Baseball Furies got their ever-lovin’ a$$es kicked by The Warriors. That said, I do have a question for you Yankees fans out there: When are they going to make Luke Weaver their closer? He’s good! And he’s actually almost likable. Seems to have that kinda screwball temperament you want from a closer… at least the really cool ones from the 1970s.
Mets. Tylor Megill is gonna win the NL Cy Young, naturally. What else? Edwin Diaz off to his normal shaky start. That’s actually ok. Oh, according to our own Junoir Blaber, Buck Showalter has been secretly managing the Mets for the past year plus. No word on whether he’s sporting a Bobby Valentine disguise and sending signals through Cow-Bell Man. Stay tuned.
As I put this one to bed, the Mets are in a tight one with the Phils [THEY WON] out in Flushing and the Yankees dropped a close one in Cleveland. Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, who will definitely be fixated on the Knickerbockers.
