THE RECORD BOOK – More than any other sport, baseball likes to flaunt its history, and rightly so. Everybody wearing #42 yesterday may have made things difficult for amateur scorekeepers (Did the Yankees finally clone an entire team of Mariano Riveras?) but it’s a wonderful gesture to a seminal figure in Jackie Robinson, and a big pat on its own back for not being such a horribly racist institution any more. More than any other sport, perhaps, baseball needs to do this to stay relevant, and as well it should…its a rich history and stats (especially counting stats) mean something. Let’s take a look at some of the records that could be broken this season…
Last year I correctly predicted Alex Rodriguez would pass Rickey Henderson for most naked praises of himself in a mirror, and this past Friday night he tied Ken Griffey Jr. with his 630th home run. He’ll move solely into 5th place with his next “A-Bomb,” and is a strong season away from catching Willie Mays (660) this year. If that strong season includes 106 more RBIs (he only has 2 so far), he’ll pass both Lou Gehrig and Barry Bonds and become only the fourth player ever to reach 2000. Perhaps more likely, however, will be Alex’s setting the record for professional baseball players succumbing to a figure four leg lock by their girlfriend when Torrie Wilson next kicks his ass.
Boom goes the dynamite. With one more colorful saying for the highlight reel (last night he was touting “Like my status if you like my status” for LeBron James scores) EPSN’s Stuart Scott will pass Kenny Mayne (“Bring me your finest meats and cheeses.“) for most completely non-related catchphrase experiments.
Albert Pujols is well on his way to breaking all sorts of records, needing an improbable 55 home runs to reach 500 this year (he’s still looking for his first of the season). He has hit into two double plays so far this year (that’s light for him), leaving him just 116 short of passing Cal Ripken Jr. for the all time mark in that department. By mid-July, he’ll also pass the one million mark for number of snickers at the words Poo-holes.
With another inch of facial hair, Tampa Bay left fielder Luke Scott will actually grow a full beard.
By mid-September, there will be 2 million Dodger Dogs sold at Chavez Ravine. Also by mid-September, there will be 2 million Pizza Hut Hot Dog Stuffed Pizza Crust pizzas not sold.
Two and oh already, Roy Halladay is now just ten away from 200 wins. CC Sabathia is still looking for his first decision this year, and at 176 wins he’s now just 124 pounds away from 200…or about three hot dog stuffed pizzas not eaten.
And finally, Jim Thome has only struck out just one time in ten at bats this year so far…he’s got to pick it up if he’s going to get 109 more to catch Reggie Jackson and become the all time champ.
But back to “Joe” Torrie Wilson…
Also, by tomorrow Grote2DMax will pass the one million laughs mark.