Tag: New York Mets
Angry Ward: Jake’s Try for Third Cy, Saquon Barkley Gets Battered, and Ben Roethlisberger Finds Jesus
BRONX, NY – Today I’ve decided to kinda ping pong around and talk about a few different things, rather than laser-focusing my rage on something obvious like Kirk “F**king” Cousins or the latest foibles of New York’s 9-foot Monster Mayor. Even I can sometimes use a respite from the 24/7/365 rage-a-thon. So, let’s throw it into […]
Covid-19 ERAs, Sasquatch Sports Stars, Lord Stanley’s Islanders
Our thoughts are with Trevor, aka Dude & Replacement Matt, who underwent surgery for a brain tumor yesterday. PRATTSVILLE, NY – September 11th and 12th will forever mark a brace of anniversaries of the utmost importance for your humbly. The former represents a tragically sad day in USA history; one in which families were forever […]
Yankees in Trouble, NFL Kicks Off on Eve of 9/11 Anniversary
NEW YORK, NY – With just a few weeks left in the MLB irregular season, the battered Yankees are on the verge of playing themselves right out of the playoffS. The Bronx Bombers won 14 of their first 20 games and looked like they would cruise into the playoffs at the top of the AL […]
Angry Ward Wednesday: The NHL, Yankees in Hell, and Here Comes the NFL!
BRONX, NY – On Labor Day my friends and I had our 2020 Fantasy Football Draft. It was chock full of surprises, super sleepers, and the kind of insightful football info you can only get from a bunch of rapidly-aging white guy losers. I can’t wait to tell you all about it! Just kidding. You’ve […]
Big Ben Tuesday: If 2020 Were A… New York Sports Edition
Stamford, CT: If 2020 were a Saturday Night Live cast member, it would be Gilbert Godfried. You all know the “If 2020 Were A…” game. Let’s play, NY Sports Edition. If 2020 Were… A New York Yankee, it would be Giancarlo Stanton. When the Yanks acquired Stanton, many joked/fumed that Jeter was still on the […]
Angry Ward Wednesday: Todd Frazier is Back on the Mets, So You Can Kill Me Now
BRONX, NY – The New York Mets’ 2020 season officially, and mercifully, ended on Monday when Jacob deGrom proved less-than-superhuman by taking his first loss of the season to the Marlins. But the bigger indicator that you can put a fork in Flushing baseball was a seemingly desperate and undeniably pathetic flurry of moves at […]
Big Ben Tuesday: A Controversial Look-Back at Five Fired Sports Pundits/Contributors
MTM HQ – Last week, I ruffled some feathers and got a stern text from Short Matt. It really pissed me off (not really, but go with me) and made me want to double-down and offend even more people this week. But I got sidetracked wondering if anyone had ever gotten 86’ed from this thankless […]
Surreal Subway Series, St Louis Perfectos, Cleveland Spiders, Dom Smith for President
NEW YORK, NY – Pigs are flying. Snowballs are now the official ball of choice in Hell. Dom Smith is a national treasure. The St. Louis Pefectos are in the headlines for the first in forever… or at least 121 years. Great Caesar’s Ghost, isn’t it Amazin’ how some great or astonishing feat in sports […]
Groundswell of Sports Protests May Signal Progress
NEW YORK, NY – It has been another tough week in America. On the heels of the shooting of Jacob Blake by police in Kenosha, Wisconsin and the protests that ensued, the sports world was rocked by the news that several teams and leagues would join the protest. The Milwaukee Bucks led the charge when […]
2020 BOHICA!!! deGrom Bear(?) Gets Replacement Matt Through Cancer!
MAPLE WOOD, NJ – Good day to all ye faithful readers… Yes, I am still among the living and above ground after having a brain tumor removed on Sept 11, 2020. It seems my surgery was successful. Still awaiting the final report from the [Hold The] Mayo Clinic has put in, as Larry David once […]
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