Monday Monday -It was the ever-unusual combo or raining and cold here in Los Angeles yesterday (and yes, in the fifties is freezing if you live out here for any stretch of time), but I was having a great day, really I was. Daylight savings took all the pressure off the morning. I broke out the slow cooker and had a delicious Cuban chicken dish filling the house with an awesome garlic aroma all day (food mention contractually obligated for Clancy). My football bets ended up well in the black, and my steamrolling fantasy team put up the most points in the league even with Cam Newton on a bye week.
And then my beloved Steelers got punched in the gut with eight seconds left of what looked like a foregone win that would’ve made them clearly the class of the AFC. Funny how something like that can wreck your whole day and put you in a funk right before you sit down to hammer out your usual Monday post. It can give you a case of something nasty.
But surely I’m not the only one having a bad day. So, in the hopes of making myself feel better, I found six people whose weekends were crappier than mine:
Bill Belichick: 9-point favorites, losing at home to the Giants in an eerily familiar way. That makes two losses in a row with trips to the rival Jets and Philadelphia in the next three weeks. This is not a good time for football’s “genius” in the what-have-you-done-for-me-lately world of Boston Sports. Teams are starting to figure out how to contain Welker and pressure Brady (who actually got the happy feet in the pocket yesterday). It’s inconceivable that they won’t make the playoffs, right? This is a steadily downward trend for the Patsies that started with the Giants three years ago.
Terrell Owens: Nobody showed up to his much publicized workout back in October, and he had to wonder at the time if he could even get arrested. Well, turns out he can. The good news is, this makes him a good fit to return to the Bengals.
Mark Brunell: A 19-year career, three pro-bowls, a Super Bowl (two words!) ring, and over $50 million made…and lost. It couldn’t have gone worse if he had used Lenny Dykstra as his financial adviser.
Lenny Dykstra: At least Brunell has an entry level medical supplies sales job lined up for him. Dykstra has been reduced to taking chump change celebrity boxing offers to fight my old teammate and MtM favorite Jose Canseco this weekend, but then didn’t bother to show up.
Jerry Sandusky: The former dean of Linebacker University–or NAMBLA–has wrecked one of the proudest college programs and most iconic coaching legacies by bringing a whole new meaning to the words Pee Wee Football. The Catholic Church is relieved to be told that Penn State isn’t a Jesuit School. Thank goodness Michael Jackson isn’t alive to see this.
Andy Rooney: Now making God want to turn the channel in Heaven. This could mean worse news for my compatriot Grote2DMax, though I suspect we can still get some curmudgeonly channeling from beyond the grave once in awhile.
P.s… Junoir Blaber will be pinch-hitting for Wally Pipp Grote2DMax tomorrow… Tune in. And buy some stuff off the ads on here. I’d recommend buying beer, drinking it and drunk-ordering plane tickets to Europe…and get some cheese for the flight. They wine’s not a bad call, either.
