AFL Footy: Playing Footsie Down Under In Australia


AFL Footy: Playing Footsie Down Under In Australia
APOLLO BAY, AUSTRALIA– We’re as down under as one can be down under after Replacement Matt successfully avoided killing us on The Great Ocean Road, which looks out on the vast Southern Ocean, from Australia’s southern coast – in the state of Victoria.

Our ride was especially tricky; we were on the wrong side of the rode and the wrong side of a hangover from sampling many James Squires and Cooper Ales at Prudence, a great bar in Melbourne’s north end. Yet we made it, avoiding becoming road pizza by an eyelash after narrowly missing a head on collision with a bus while watching two sperm whales breaching just a few football fields off the beach. Dare we say it would have been worth it? Maybe not, but it was pretty cool and we survived to try some AFL Footy!

That’s right, we now still have the opportunity to seriously injure ourselves in our quest to bring you all things Australian – including our attempt at Aussie Rules Football, or Footy, as the locals call it. Later today (tomorrow for you), we’ll be introducing ourselves to the this wild AFL game by closely monitoring Apollo Bay Hawks Football Club, the equivalent of a high school team. That will be in preparation for our real test, which we are still working on at this typing.

What inspired us was the headline from a couple/three years back re an Aussie Rules Football Player that broke his neck and was forging a comeback:


Eric Bana likes him…

Granted, on the surface that doesn’t seem like a great deal of money for a professional athlete to be forgoing, but get this – Ross would only make $49,000 per season with his new deal. That’s less than a Buffalo Bison bullpen catcher. Incentives could have bumped that up another whopping $180,000 but that will be offset by the cost of sedatives Ross would be footying for his mom. Oh, and here’s a quick question: How many star players would take that kind of pay cut in the States? Gosh golly, we can’t even get guys to play with bruised knees, strained calves or balky hips!

We know a certain MLB team out of Queens (ironically, we’re in Victoria) that could use a Ben Ross or three.

Anyway, we also covered Cricket and Rugby – both League and Union – just click on those BOLD LINKS to watch us make fools of ourselves!  Oh, and we did all this despite the time differential and lack of internet access – 2 hours cost us $15, which left us hopping mad, like our new pal in the photo.

Here’s our attempt at Footy:

P.s… Be sure to check out our more Down Under-friendly partners over at

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  • Nick C

    You guys need to get it together! Ever heard of a wireless card?

  • ChibaLotteAkita

    Very good. You are now nearer to my time zone.

  • Linda

    I am soooo jealous of you guys. Tell Replacement Matt to be careful on those roads! Did you really see whales and that kangaroo in just one day??? Please bring him back for me…. lol… Dont get hurt over there. You shouldnt play any of those games without full padding.

  • LINDA: The whales were very exciting to see. We took out the trusty MTM video camera and got some good footage. As for the ‘roo, not sure the customs people at JFK will let him in…
    NICK: Cut us some slack! You know what time it is over here?!
    CHIBA: Tell Nick what time it is over here!

  • philview

    $49K to get the shrimp knocked out of you. clear that Aussie football needs a better television contract.

  • miguel1082

    is everybody hiding because the mets suck? you can still root for for the nl east matts. the phillies baby! don’t get eaten by any sharks down there

  • buffalobilly84

    Is somebody footying the bill for you guys or is this another one of those ‘how do you do it” things? Can their shorts get any tighter down there? Its like watching the NBA in the early 80s.

  • vinny from brooklyn

    you guys picked the right time to vacate. 13 games out. its football season! go jets!

  • The Greatest Living MTM Poster of All Time “The Temple”

    Matts…It appears you got a little mixed up when I asked about double reverse fantasy football. I was talking about the fantasy football league idea you had where you try and pick the worst players from a group.

    While I appreciate the effort and understand the mistake, double reverse fantasy football is not aussie rules football. Please get on a plane and fly up to the right side of the planet before this site goes soccer again.

  • Angry Ward

    I have no reaction to this except that Short Matt should stop celebrating people who need surgery or break their neck. No, seriously.

  • Randy Levine


  • Time Warp Tony

    The Dodgers have a pitcher who is getting a new surgery. I think its Tommy John. Maybe that doc can help

  • LongLad4

    Great stuff! Love the shorts on the trolley! Glad to see the Yanks having a good time.

  • Ardent Supporter

    THAT was funny!

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