Being Merry In A Dire Sports Town


NEW YORK, NY – Since Thanksgiving I’ve ramped up my annual year-end waistline expansion program. December always affords me an excuse to eat and drink too much all of the time. It’s part of Being Merry In A Dire Sports Town. The distractions are good this time of year since the state of sports in NY right now is looking bleak. Baseball is still a few months away. Hockey is still a year away. The Jets suck and the Giants are slipping up. At least the New York Knickerbockers are in first place and smoked the Miami Heat last night. Other than that, there isn’t much to be happy about in NY Sports right now. Lets take a look:

What’s worse than having a sh!tty quarterback? Having three sh!tty quarterbacks. This is the dilemma Rex Ryan and the Jets are faced with. For now they’re sticking with the sucky quarterback that they have previously committed to committing to. Jacksonville are probably a little peeved because if Tebow was named the starter, the Jaguars would probably sell out their first game since ever. Even with Sanchez taking the snaps, the Jets should still have what it takes to beat a terrible Jacksonville team. If things don’t go well for the Sanchise early on in Jacksonville, look for God’s Stepson to take the reins and lead the Jets to glory. Or he’ll come in and suck up the joint and never play for the Jets again. I can see it going either way.

The Giants are coming off of a loss to RGIII and the ‘Skins. And now they take on a tough Saints team. Finishing out the season against the Saints, Falcons, Ravens, and Eagles, the Giants could very well lose all of their remaining games and miss out on the playoffs after winning the Super Bowl last season. With the exception of the shellacking the Giants gave the Packers, Eli Manning hasn’t looked like an elite quarterback lately. The Giants’ secondary looks about as mobile as a concussed Short Matt. The defense can’t make a stop when needed and the offense hasn’t been able to produce the big play. We’ll see how they handle this grueling home stretch. My guess is that they won’t handle it well.

After a promising week of talks we’re still frogging nowhere close to having some frogging NHL hockey. My prediction of a Thanksgiving resolution to the dispute and an early December start to the season seems laughable now. It was a case of wishful thinking.

I’ve been trying to fill the void created by the lockout by watching the AHL, OHL, WHL, KHL, and even some college hockey. It hasn’t worked. There’s no substitute for the real thing. And unfortunately we won’t be getting the real thing any time soon. I’m growing frustrated with the whole thing. I would consider boycotting the league when it comes back next October. But I need the NHL like a fiend needs a hit. The current lockout has got me in the throes of withdrawal right now. I don’t think I’ll ever kick the habit and I don’t know how I’m going to get through February without real hockey.

That’s it for me today. I’ve got to get back to eating and drinking too much. These pounds aren’t going to gain themselves.

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About the Author ()

Different Matt is our cunning Cornell grad/rugby player. "Diff" joined us just after the switch from being "Mets only" to an all-sports stop. He's a Yankee fan; thus he was "different." Aside from the Yanks, he's a diehard NY Giants, NY Rangers and NY Knicks fan. He also likes long walks on the beach and cappuccinos and nearly died in Las Vegas.
  • JerseyGirl

    The NHL leaders and Congressional leaders all need to be fired. How do we do that? And don’t worry about your weight, there’s more to love. 🙂

    • Diff

      That’s sweet of you to say but I’m starting to resemble Pizza the Hut.

    • Two days in a row someone brought politics into this! And Gov Christie was on the Daily Show arguing Rangers/Devils with Jon Stewart.

  • AngryWard

    Diff, I am with ya with the eat, drink, and be merry approach. Can we perhaps persuade the Short one to have an impromptu MtM mixer at Bourbon Street? By my estimation Sam’s a Fan should be receiving a really nice bottle of hooch in the next week to ten days.

    • This needs to happen on a Saturday night and we can call it ‘Sabado Gigante.’
      I can plan to stay over at Bubbe Cookie’s Wash. Heights pad… or Cam’s New Couch, or Angry’s Mental Ward.. and i can work on the too much drink thing.

      • Diff

        There’s always room for you in Riverdale, Cookie.

        • Ahhhh Diff. I forgot you lived up there too. And I can stay at Diff’s in the ‘Dale too. WOOT!!

      • Cam_James

        My couch books up almost as fast as my bed but there should be room for you tomorrow night my dear… I still have some mini soaps from the waldorf so its kinda classy.

        • Well you know I can probably get the ‘all-clear’ from Mr. Cookie…but damn this MTM Management needs to move it on getting the party date going already. July is RIGHT around the corner!

    • Diff

      We definitely have to get in some MtM boozing for the holidays. The big wigs at corporate HQ need to get on this. I’m running out of free time in 2012.

    • We’d highly recommend for any hooch and we’re trying to figure out something for a holiday party.

  • Yeah.. I tell ya Diff… everyone expected the older Manning to blow up at the neck…literally. But he’s the one who is looking pretty damn elite again. Broncs win… AGAIN.

    • Diff

      The Raiders sucking always makes me happy. Their fans aren’t scary. They’re just losers.

    • Hold your horses/Broncos, Cookie. The AFC West is the worst division in football. Norv Turner is there… Two questions:

      1) When was the Super Bowl champion last out of the that division
      2) How many Super Bowls had Peyton won by the time he was Eli’s age?

  • Dude

    Sorry Diff, but you need to come to the realization that there will be no NHL this season. I think we should forgo bourbon street and instead take to egging gary bettman’s house for our holiday get together. we can still bring sam’s hooch…. In other news this a great time for sports in NY… the Knicks are for real and it is about goddamn time. stop hating and accept the one team all NY’ers can get behind. tough, gritty, poised and ready to roll. stop whining about what isn’t there and enjoy.

    • Nick Erbocker

      Now that the Knicks have the basketball part of the Garden humming again, it’s a crime the Rangers aren’t rocking the joint too. How about the win in Miami last night!

      • Does Amar’e mess up this Knicks squad when/if he is healthy? And you gotta love Kidd (39), Wallace (38) and Camby (38) on this squad. The stories those guys can tell. As for the NHL? Oy.

        • Dude

          no, he does not… he wants to win, he will be on board with the program. just another offensive weapon to add to the arsenal. not to mention shumpert is coming back too– another lockdown defender. more minutes to spread around means fresher legs come playoff time. who’s in for the bettman egging so we can have twin juggernauts rocking the garden!

  • AngryWard

    Say what you want about the New York Post, its owner, and politics, they are still the go-to paper for stories like the one today about a fireman who once posed in the FDNY beefcake calendar and a transexual hooker. This passage, in particular, is pure poetry…
    “He’s freaking me out because I can’t breathe,” she panted on the witness stand, her giant artificial breasts heaving under her filmy blouse.

    • bosoxbruins04

      Classic! And the Knicks do look for real this time but they better stay healthy.

    • PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me the headline was ‘The Fireman and the Big Hose.’

      • AngryWard

        Headline reads HOSED. Then article hed reads: It’s ‘Hook and Laid Her’ Out.

        • Diff

          The Post never ceases to amaze. And horrify.

        • ‘Hook and Laid Her.’ GENIUS.

  • Diff, back in the day we’d have made a serious pair of bookends if not solo assaults on Zuppa di Pesce at The Pine Tavern. I miss hockey more than being able to finish off the aforementioned delicacy. Rangers fans like you should be in a lather as Cup faves over no hockey. I’m silly to think things get ironed out by xmas but just a hunch. See you at the MTM holiday drinkfest

    • Diff

      I just can’t believe that either side will let another entire season go by the wayside over this bullsh!t. I’m hoping someone caves soon. And I’m not interested in right or wrong or what is fair.

      That this is the Rangers’ best (and probably last for awhile) shot at the cup, Makes me extremely bitter.

  • WestCoastCraig

    This winter layer is tough. Just finished up the leftover chili, and I’ve got a pot roast slow cooking.

  • Grote2Dmax

    The guy who should be egged, tarred and feathered is Jeremy Jacobs. He calls the shots from his seat on the NHL board of govenors.

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