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Drugs: Lin, Lance, Lundquist, Carter & Whitney

Feb 182012

Hangin' on the corner

STREET CORNER, USA – Drugs seemed to be the theme of the week: those who took em`, those who deny taking `em, and those who never will take `em. So let’s consider then, who’s a druggie and who ain’t.

As Cookie mentioned yesterday, Lance Armstrong recently took second place in a competitive half Iron Man triathlon. Lance took the drugs necessary to beat nut cancer, but denies ever having taken the drugs necessary to squash the competition in five consecutive Tour de Frances. Could he be juicing for his bike-run-swim fest? 50-50.

Gary Carter took all the drugs he could, but in the end they couldn’t match Lance and whip cancer. The Kid succumbed earlier this week after a protracted battle. Hats off to a Hall of Famer, a fighter to the end, and one of the best damn Montreal Expos to ever take the field.

Whitney Houston’s final embrace of Neptune in a hotel bathtub owes much to pills and booze. It’s also a classic way to go for a troubled celeb to go, and conjures memories of playwright Tennesse Williams and manly-man actor William Holden bowing out in the early 1980s. Continue reading »

Welcome to the Void

Feb 112012

The Void- It’s done. It’s over. No more football. And baseball is still nearly two months away. Sigh. For you hockey and basketball fans, these are good days. And while I’m loyal to the Kincks and Rangers, the truth is that for me basketball and hockey are in a limp-wristed arm-wrestling match to see who can come in a distant third to football and baseball. How then to pass the final days of winter before [...]

Go Break a Leg-acy!

Feb 042012

Looking Down from On High- It’s rare that a Super Bowl Big Game, such as the one that will be played Sunday, features a relatively recent rematch of relatively recent champions. In fact, it’s only happened once before: January 21, 1979, when the Pittsburgh Steelers faced off against the Dallas Cowboys in Super Bowl Big Game XIII. In that epic contest, not only were both teams seeking their third championship of the 19790s, but they [...]

I’m On A Roll: Picking The Big Games

Jan 282012

Rolling In It- Last week I offered four picks for the NFL Conference Championship games. In response, our very own Lori Levine made a wonderfully strange offer: if I nailed them all, I could watch her pee. I hit three-out-of-four.So close. So close, but yet so far. Sigh . . . So while I might not get the pleasure of pursuing a kink I didn’t even know I had (I’ve already got a lot, but [...]

Pick This: The Public Professor Picks NFL Winners!

Jan 212012

The Winnter’s Circle: Last week I hit 4 of the 7 picks I offered up here. Four out of seven, people! You should be so lucky. So let’s keep moving forward, why don’t we. There are two games on tap tomorrow, four bets to be made. (Home teams in CAPS). NEW ENGLAND 7.5 Baltimore O/U 50 More than a TD? That’s just too much for New England to give. Why? Because during the regular [...]

Publicly Professing NFL Picks

Jan 142012

The Gaming Parlor – I didn’t do too bad with last week’s Wild Card round of the NFL playoffs, correctly picking out the Broncs to cover and the Under in the Giants-Falcons game. Of course the only one I bet in real life was Cinci, and that didn’t work out too well, but I won’t dwell on it if you don’t. Here’s my take on the four games in the Divisional round (home teams in [...]

Bet The Farm On Our Bookie! The Public Professor’s NFL Picks

Jan 072012

PHONE TO MY BOOKIESVILLE – It’s a beautiful, crisp and clear Saturday. Perfect for football… Let’s talk about the best ways to throw away some money! I’ve got derelict musings on all four games of the NFL’s Divisional Round; Home teams in CAPS. HOUSTON 4 Cincinnati O/U 38.5 Both teams have pretty good Defenses: Houston is ranked second overall in total yardage and Cincinnati is the 7th. Of course, those of you who read sites like [...]

New Year’s Resolutions To Keep Sports From Sucking

Dec 312011

Under the Mistletoe – What? You think I’m gonna create a list of stuff that I should change about myself? Nice Try. No, I’m doin’ just fine, thank you very much. Quite happy the way I am: middle age, middle class, no wife, no kids, a weekly poker game, and tenure. Now’s not the time to start screwing any of that that up. I’m good. So instead, here’s a list of changes I want to [...]

Christmas Comes Early… Even For Heathen Atheist Jew Sports Fans

Dec 242011

The Place Where Christmas Comes – Oh, you goyem and your Christmas. I love it. Well, actually I’m half goy myself – a bunch of German Luterhan rednecks on my father’s side – but I got an official 8th day shmeckle whacking and a couple of un-cashed Bar Mitzvah checks to my name, so I guess that makes me more Yid than gentile. Plus, you know, I’m a heathen atheist. So for me then, Christmas is [...]

Timmy Tebow! Once And For All: Does Tebow Suck?

Dec 172011

DENVER, CO – Tim Tebow is awful. But despite posting embarrassingly bad stats game after game, he just keeps winning. Why? Is it because God loves him more? Is it because he “knows how to win,” whatever the hell that means? Or is he just plain lucky? In my view, the man’s a Luck Box. Let me explain. While Tebow is now 7-1 at quarterback for the Broncos, it has not come against elite competition. [...]