Tag: Ward Calhoun

Bengasm Tuesday: Rihanna Disses Durant, the Odell Beckham Contract Situation, and Tanaka Giving Up Long Dongs

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BROAD CHANNEL, NY – It’s Tuesday, buckle in for your weekly Bengasm. This week I’ll take a look at Rhianna’s whiff on a diss of Kevin Durant. I’m also starting to get nervous about Odell’s contract situation and Tanaka Serving Up a Ton of Long Dongs. Let’s get to it. Durant Diss In case you […]

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Angry Ward Monday: Eb’s Very Hot “Hawt Takes,” Bombers Bombed by Oakland, John Daly Back?

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BRONX, NY – It’s friggin’ hot here in the Northeast. So where’s DJ Eberle and his Hawt Takes, now that we need him? Is he scrambling for a “think piece” on what LeBron will do in 2018? Is he fighting the restraining order Chance the Rapper has taken out on him? Or maybe he’s just off […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Basketball’s Over. It’s Time for Baseball!

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BRONX, NY – The Golden State Warriors won the NBA Championship Monday night. I’m not gonna write about it, but it needed to be said. During the series, Tall Matt was on social media railing against this “superteam” that was ruining professional basketball. In his previous Shirley MacLaine lives, he also bashed John Wooden, the 1927 […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: The Rangers In Danger, Matt Harvey Mess, Possible NBA Fix

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BRONX, NY – Running short on time today. Got zero in the tank and one 12 oz bottle’s worth of liquid comedy to get me through this. Even though I’m not (ever) getting paid for this, and I’d rather beg off on this week’s post, I feel compelled to show up and do what’s expected of […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: The Met Gala vs. The Mets’ Gala, Rangers, Yanks and NBA

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NEW YORK, NY – The other night here in New York the Metropolitan Museum of Art hosted its annual “Met Gala” for all manner of glitterati and starf**kers who like to dress up like imbeciles and have their pictures taken by a rabid bunch of camera-wielding monkeys. It’s quite the scene. I was shocked when […]

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Divine Intervention? New York Rangers Win Stanley Cup!

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JERUSALEM – Sunday School is now in session! Well, sort of. This will be a bit of a Biblical narrative associated with the New York Rangers pathway to Lord Stanley’s Cup. Sure, Moses used a staff – not a hockey stick – as I would have preferred, to part the Red Sea while leading the […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: New York Mehs, Baby Bummers, Other Spring Ennui & #GoodMetsFun

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BRONX, NY –  We’re only a little over a week into the 2017 Major League Baseball season and, already, I’m not feeling it. Sports fans really need baseball this time of year… especially fans in New York, where the combined efforts of the Giants, Jets, Nets, and Knicks have left Gothamites drifting the streets dead-eyed […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Brady, Bartolo Colon, Tiger and other Trump Sports Tweets

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BRONX, NY – If it’s Wednesday it must be time for another tired and true (no, that wasn’t a typo) post from yours truly. Let me start by saying that it will be bittersweet seeing the only real baseball hero left, Bartolo Colon, take the hill against the Mets tonight as an Atlanta Brave. I sincerely hope […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: NCAA Basketball, Pats in Sports, Other March Sadness, Sports Weather Emergency

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BRONX, NY – Today is March 15th, a magical time of year for Irish alcoholics (redundant?), people who like throwing away their money on NCAA Basketball pools, and psychopaths who enjoy blizzards after the temperatures have already climbed over 70 degrees. Let your freak flags fly, people! Watch that awful/awesome “Leprechaun” movie that Jennifer Aniston […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Tom Brady’s Stupid Stolen Super Bowl Jersey is Worth More than My Life

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BRONX, NY – Welcome, my friends, to another Worst Day of the Week in the Worst Month of the Year, in what may turn out to be the worst year of the decade. There’s so little to discuss that isn’t completely depressing, so let’s not try to avoid any of it. Let’s sit down with the […]

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