Tag: Ward Calhoun

Angry Ward Wednesday: F**K the Giants, Yankees and a Whole Bunch of Other People

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BRONX, NY – It’s mercifully the final week of Angry Ward, but I’ve decided to not go gentle into that good night. F**k all that. I’m burning this thing to the ground. Where’s that gas can and my Zippo? Giant A$$holes. This past Sunday night the New York Giants and Denver Broncos got together and screwed […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Don’t Watch Sports!

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BRONX, NY – I’m back from vacation. On Monday I stared right down the barrel of that solar eclipse, sans viewing specs, and was rewarded with super powers beyond my wildest dreams. For starters, I am now completely impervious to late-night texts from Short Matt asking me to edit someone’s column and telling me how much […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Manny Machado, The Nats’ Pen, Tiger Woods, and Other Post-Fourth-of-July Duds

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BRONX, NY – Happy 5th of July, everyone! Many moons ago, this was a day my friends and I used to spend scouring our neighborhood streets for unexploded fireworks, back when you could blow sh!t up in the New York without the Feds knocking on your door. It was a noble quest. We’d either crack the […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: School is Tough, Playing Sports is Not. And David Wright Return?

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BRONX, NY – Today is, mercifully, the final day of school for New York City public school kids. As a parent, I think the biggest lie that adults ever tell kids is the old saw that goes… “You think school is tough? Wait until you have to work for a living, like I do!” What a […]

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Bengasm Tuesday: Rihanna Disses Durant, the Odell Beckham Contract Situation, and Tanaka Giving Up Long Dongs

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BROAD CHANNEL, NY – It’s Tuesday, buckle in for your weekly Bengasm. This week I’ll take a look at Rhianna’s whiff on a diss of Kevin Durant. I’m also starting to get nervous about Odell’s contract situation and Tanaka Serving Up a Ton of Long Dongs. Let’s get to it. Durant Diss In case you […]

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Angry Ward Monday: Eb’s Very Hot “Hawt Takes,” Bombers Bombed by Oakland, John Daly Back?

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BRONX, NY – It’s friggin’ hot here in the Northeast. So where’s DJ Eberle and his Hawt Takes, now that we need him? Is he scrambling for a “think piece” on what LeBron will do in 2018? Is he fighting the restraining order Chance the Rapper has taken out on him? Or maybe he’s just off […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Basketball’s Over. It’s Time for Baseball!

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BRONX, NY – The Golden State Warriors won the NBA Championship Monday night. I’m not gonna write about it, but it needed to be said. During the series, Tall Matt was on social media railing against this “superteam” that was ruining professional basketball. In his previous Shirley MacLaine lives, he also bashed John Wooden, the 1927 […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: The Rangers In Danger, Matt Harvey Mess, Possible NBA Fix

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BRONX, NY – Running short on time today. Got zero in the tank and one 12 oz bottle’s worth of liquid comedy to get me through this. Even though I’m not (ever) getting paid for this, and I’d rather beg off on this week’s post, I feel compelled to show up and do what’s expected of […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: The Met Gala vs. The Mets’ Gala, Rangers, Yanks and NBA

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NEW YORK, NY – The other night here in New York the Metropolitan Museum of Art hosted its annual “Met Gala” for all manner of glitterati and starf**kers who like to dress up like imbeciles and have their pictures taken by a rabid bunch of camera-wielding monkeys. It’s quite the scene. I was shocked when […]

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Divine Intervention? New York Rangers Win Stanley Cup!

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JERUSALEM – Sunday School is now in session! Well, sort of. This will be a bit of a Biblical narrative associated with the New York Rangers pathway to Lord Stanley’s Cup. Sure, Moses used a staff – not a hockey stick – as I would have preferred, to part the Red Sea while leading the […]

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