by The Matts

TOMBSTONE, AZ – It was a wild, whacky week in an upside-down, topsy-turvy world! There were winners, losers, posers and poopers and we took in every minute of it and want to tout our two biggest winners. Obviously, the biggest Winner Of The Week is our Super Bowl Giveaway’s lucky SOB, so let’s start with the our 2nd Biggest Winner, a pooper! Thanks to Cookie, we learned not of her newest member of Mattville’s output, but of that belonging to Hall Of Fame 3rd baseman KC Georgie – the inimitable George Brett. Unfortunately, the video of George talking freely about regularly soiling his shorts during games has been taken down by Time Warner (we’re petitioning) but the story is still out there.  It seems that the ‘squat’ Brett had the poop proclivity multiple times a season.  In fact, his incontinence was frequent enough that his squad, the KC Royals, is now considering the retirement of #2 in Regular George’s honor – to go along with his already-retired #5. Further, The Matts have exclusive information from Mr. Brett that The Pine Tar Incident needs to have its history rewritten, or at least reworded – for it wasn’t actually pine tar on the bat when Brett ‘blasted one’ off Goose Gossage in 1983. In retrospect, George’s pointing to the bat and screaming “That stinks!” during his famous argument with home plate umpire Tim McClelland makes one heckuva lot more sense. Moreover, one can now truly understand his renowned reliance on Preparation H (we ‘smell’ a Preparation G commercial brewing). The above aside, we’d like to personally thank George Brett for ‘coming clean’ re this issue, for Matt and I are constantly pooping in our pants…. WHOOPS! Did it again. While Matt goes potty, let’s end the suspense and reveal who our big Super Bowl Giveaway winner is, shall we?! Drum Roll, please…. Without further adieu, we give you…. (Drum Roll into Johnny Carson Tonight Show Theme)… Mark Gotfred of AZ Crazy’s home state; the Land Of Almost-Prez John McCain and home to the potential Super Bowl Champion KurtWarnerdals – the great state of Arizona! That’s right, Mark – that’s why we’re here in Tombstone! You won! That means you and a quest are going to Tampa Bay! Mark gets 5 days/4 nights in the city of the Super Bowl. His package includes, RT airfare for two, hotel accommodations for two, a rental car and TWO TICKETS TO THE SUPER BOWL! We ain’t kiddin’!!! And all you dirty names that didn’t sign up should be kicking yourselves! No! Don’t beat yourselves up. Why not, Matts? Because, Silly Beans, you have more opportunities to go places and do things on MTM and SMM ( in the future, now that we’re in cahoots. DANG! Just pooped again. On that ‘note’ – we’ll ‘end’ here. Please chime in below and ready for Rex tomorrow! CONGRATS MARK!   

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About The Matts 376 Articles started out as a NY Mets website and organically grew into an entity covering all professional sports. Our daily contributors, as diverse as they may be, share two important traits: -They toil for the "love of the game..." -They have a sense of humor. This is, after all, sports entertainment.