ANGRY WARD WEDNESDAY: BROKEN PROMISES

NEW YORK, NY—I know that today’s headline reads like one of those phony movie titles from Seinfeld, but it really has to do with this deal between the Mets and Citigroup. For those of you who have been living in a cave the past year (by the way, has anyone seen “Yankees Suck” lately?) Citigroup has a 20-year $400 million deal for naming rights on the new ballpark in Flushing. Due to the fact that Citigroup received upwards of $45 billion in government bailout money, and are laying off over 50,000 employees, many are clamoring for the troubled bank to back out of their partnership with the Mets. Though company officials are stating otherwise, it would come as no surprise if this actually happened. Which leads one to wonder, what were some of the biggest broken deals and/or promises of all time.

• Athletes who announce their retirement and then don’t stay retired. This includes Roger Clemens, Brett Favre, and just about every heavyweight boxer in history.

• Monte Hall, makes Oscar and Felix (aka Frederick Ungman and Ozzie Malone) return all the money they won on “Let’s Make a Deal” because Oscar is an old friend of his. This is worse than winning a bunch of canned squid.

• The United States Government and the American Indian: Too many broken treaties to count.

• That chick in my freshman year American Literature class who promised all kinds of things if I helped her with her term paper.

• Nick Saban leaves the Miami Dolphins after repeatedly denying he was interested in the Alabama coaching job.

• Elizabeth Taylor on numerous wedding vows.

• Microsoft dropping out of it’s proposed $47.5 billion takeover of Yahoo!

• The 1983 movie “Deal of the Century” starring Chevy Chase, Gregory Hines, and Sigourney Weaver, which proved anything but, after plunking down my money to see it.

• Angry Ward agrees to live blog Vikes/Eagles playoff game with JG Clancy and backs out without any warning or further explanation.

• George Constanza’s “pact” with Jerry that they would grow up already and get serious about relationships. George gets engaged, Jerry stays pretty much the same.

and finally…

• Satan reneges on his promise to give the Matts their own show in exchange for their hair. He points to a loophole in the contract wherein “show” is defined as any publicly recognized spectacle. Always read the fine print guys.
I’m sure there are dozens of other broken deals, pacts, and promises that deserve mention. Please feel free to add any that have been overlooked here.

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About Angry Ward 625 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.