LONG LINES, BAD VIEWS, GARY SHEFFEILD. THE EMPEROR'S NEW CLOTHES???

SHEA FIELD, NY – The parking situation is much improved. The Rotunda is very cool. The entire working staff is – get this – friendly. There are more bathrooms and you can actually listen to the game while you’re in the bathroom. We’re not sure if that’s the case on lines extending out of the lavoratory. Yet, there are some heavy duty kinks, permanent and temporary, that caught our attention:

BAD SIGHTLINES are throughout the entire park, as far as well can tell from roaming around. For example, if you’re sitting in the Left Field Upper Deck (we were in section 432) – you can’t see Daniel Patrick Murphy. That’s not because he was pulled in favor of Dirty Name Sheffield, either. It’s because you can’t see a chunk of left field. We then weasled our way, to the seats just behind the Met dugout. Mind you, we had FOUR Matts, so obviously Security was a bit lax after the rain delay. Anyway, Tall Matt pointed out that we couldn’t see the right field corner! Now, if you’re laying out the BIG BUCKS to sit behind the dugout, shouldn’t you see the whole field? We think so. We also hit the Food Court and sat at a picnic table in Right Field. People actually had the nerve to block our view. Tall Matt kept telling them to move. Surprisingly, they did without punching any of us in the nose. That said, our conclusion – thanks to some complicated Matts-Matics – is that 20+% of all seats have obstructed views that could have been avoided. The trade off, however, is that you are MUCH closer to the action, even in the furthest seats.

FOOD LINES cost us two innings. Tall Matt and the two Extra Matts went for the Blue Smoke line. Short Matt went for the Pizza/Italian Restaurant line. Both were insanely long. What’s more is that the Italian place was out of everything but lasagne and Grandma’s pizza by the time Short Matt got to the window – IN THE 4TH INNING!!! Hey, we understand working off the rust and iroining out a few wrinkles but it’s a tad alarming when a major food company underestimates their needs by FIVE INNINGS! At least the food was good. AN AMUSING ASIDE: An older, successful, Calvin Klein lookalike in front of Short Matt was on his cell bragging to some jealous pal about being at the game. Before he had even ordered and having been on the line for at least 35 minutes, he said: “It’s wonderful. Every seat is great, the food is terrific. We’re in the Food Court watching the game…” Not word of this was true, of course, but it was basically the shared sentiment of all in attendance.

GARY SHEFFIELD is like Mark Messier coming back to the Rangers. No, check that. It’s like Mark Messier coming back to the Rangers – today! It is the worst move of Omar Minaya’s tephlon tenure – and there have been some real dingers. We can only speculate but apparently Moises, Rickey and Shawn Green weren’t available for the $400,000 that everybody in favor of this move dismisses as pocket change. Hey – that 400K could go to reducing parking prices. Or beer prices. Or be used to give kids a Mr. Met hat. It’s not chump change for a guy already making $14,000,000.00 for the froggin’ season!!! If it’s so insignificant, donate it to charity, Gary. And do it before you label the organization giving you this undeserved shot at redemption as a bunch of racists.

Did Angry Ward write this column? “Where are the Pollyanna Matts?” you ask between sobs. Well, we’re right here. And despite the aforementioned gripes, laments and venting, CitiField is a spectacular place that will have you wondering why it took so long to get here. You’ll laugh at yourself for any angst or longing for Shea. The Wilpons et al have done a wonderful job. They’ve given us Mutt Fans (That’s for Yankee Joe) a jewel and, sure, jewels have a cost but they are worth it. In a word, the CitiField is…. AMAZIN’… That’s all for today, Rex O’Rourke from the Library Laptop tomorrow.

So, is it that

P.s… West Coast Craig is writing a new reality show script involving, Plaxico, Jay Cutler, Mike Vick and Gary Sheffield.

Share Button
About The Matts 370 Articles
www.MeetTheMatts.com started out as a NY Mets website and organically grew into an entity covering all professional sports. Our daily contributors, as diverse as they may be, share one important asset... a sense of humor. This is, after all, sports entertainment.