I'M ALL OVER THE PLACE

By Rex O’Rourke

New York, NY – Sometimes I have a lot to say on one subject. Today, however, it’s a little about several.

  • First up, of course, is Manny. I really wanted him to be clean. He’s a tremendous flake, the best right handed hitter of his generation and a clutch performer, and to this reporter, the torch bearer for hitting savants everywhere. I must presume that asking a professional athlete not to do PEDs is like asking an inner city kid not to deal drugs. They just can’t resist the riches that cheating can secure.
  • As for the final round of today’s Player’s Championship, I think the leader, Alex Cejka, will start soiling himself on or about the fifth hole, when Tiger drains his third birdie in five holes to close the gap. Will Tiger have the game to overtake his playing partner? Maybe not, since there’s still a little rust on his long game, but I’ll tell you one thing you can take to the bank, he’ll make it close.
  • I stand corrected. I thought Johan Santana was starting to show some wear in his waning days as a Twinkie and didn’t want to give up Phil Hughes to get him. I thought it was a good non-trade for the Yankees. Perhaps I was wrong. Ya THINK?
  • If you haven’t discovered the talent that is Ben Harper you really should get on board. His ninth studio album is released this week. No one writes more eloquent songs of protest and sings them with more passion than Ben Harper.
  • I think the NBA needs a penalty box. Players are getting mugged on a nightly basis and a two minute power play would really make things interesting. Teams could erase double digit deficits in the blink of an eye. Also, to quote the late great George Carlin, “I think you should get twenty five points for any ball that goes in the basket off another guy’s head.”
  • I’ve got my play for the Preakness. I’m laying $2 to win on the five longest shots. A ten dollar investment could yield a big return in what could be a wide open race. Then again, what do I know; I had the Generals (+3) over the Globetrotters.
  • It’s time to take Mixed Martial Arts to the next level. Just start doing a Star Trek “Gamesters Of Triskelion” thing, and give them weapons and let them fight to the death. Pipe in the original Trek music (you know you know it so don’t deny it) and have Shatner do color. Think of the ratings!
  • Finally, I’d like to wish my mother Ellen >(or “E” as we call her) a very Happy Mother’s Day. You always came to my games, rooted me on and patched up my wounds. Have a great day!
  • Until next week,
    Rex

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