INDEPENDENCE DAY PRESENT: THE A… ROD LIST: UNCONFIRMED

PHILTHYDELPHIA, PA Happy Independence Day from the birthplace of our country.

After throwing up our cheesesteaks watching Livan Hernandez toss beach balls at the Gashouse Gorillas, we decided to give you all an Independence Day Present: A breaking story that will tear you away from firecracker-blown fingers, Sarah Palin’s resignation, Wimbledon’s winners and make our Founding Fathers proud in its brazeness! So, at the risk of being sued, here’s our UNCONFIRMED, but NOT contrived, list of those joining A-Rod on the controversial steroid roll. Let the real fireworks begin:

Aaron Boone
Adrian Beltre
Alex Rodriguez
Alex Sanchez
Alfonso Soriano
Andres Galarraga
Andy Pettitte
Antonio Alfonseca
Aramis Ramirez
Barry Bonds
Bartolo Colon
Ben Weber
Benito Santiago
Bobby Abreu
Brent Abernathy
Bret Boone
Brian Roberts
Carl Everett
Carlos Delgado
Carlos Zambrano
Casey Blake
Cliff Floyd
Corey Patterson
Craig Monroe
Craig Wilson
Dan Smith
Danys Baez
David Ortiz
Derek Lowe
Derrek Lee
Dmitri Young
Eric Byrnes
Eric Chavez
Eric Gagne
Felix Rodriguez
Fernando Tatis
Francisco Rodriguez
Frank Catalanotto
Freddy Garcia
Gary Matthews
Gary Sheffield
Geoff Jenkins
Guillermo Mota
Hector Almonte
Ivan Rodriguez
Jason Christiansen
Jason Giambi
Jason Schmidt
Javy Lopez
Jay Gibbons
Jeromy Burnitz
Jerry Hairston
Johnny Damon
Jose Contreras
Jose Guillen
Jose Lima
Juan Cruz
Juan Gonzalez
Keith Foulke
Kenny Rogers
Kerry Wood
Kris Benson
Livan Hernandez
Luis Gonzalez
Magglio Ordonez
Manny Ramirez
Mark Prior
Matt Clement
Matt Herges
Melvin Mora
Miguel Tejada
Mike Cameron
Mike Hampton
Milton Bradley
Moises Alou
Nomar Garciaparra
Oliver Perez
Paul Lo Duca
Pedro Martinez
Rafael Palmeiro
Rafael Soriano
Randy Winn
Raul Mondesi
Ricardo Rincon
Rich Aurilia
Richie Sexson
Roberto Alomar
Roger Cedeno
Roger Clemens
Ryan Franklin
Ryan Klesko
Sammy Sosa
Sandy Alomar
Scott Spiezio
Shawn Green
Shea Hillenbrand
Terry Adams
Todd Helton
Tony Armas
Trot Nixon
Troy Glaus
Valerio de los Santos
Vernon Wells

There. That should top anything Macy’s has to offer.

Rex O’Rourke tomorrow.

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