by Yankee Joe
PISSBURGH, PA – The Matts reached out to me because Maria At Bat disappeared and Samanthas-A-Fan wanted to interview me for one of his Friday posts. After thinking about it, I realized it was probably a lose-lose for me, since the Yankees are gearing up to run away with the Pennant and the Mutts are back to their position in The Natural Order Of Things . So, I decided to use this opportunity to address two things – the false video The Matts put out of a Yankee fan switching to the Mutts – yeah right! That, and I figured I would just do Samantha’s interview with my version of the questions after hearing Samanth’s own words re the Mutts:
Sams A Fan Says: July 1st, 2009
“Wow, what an offensive onslaught by the team of Queens… Iâ€™m afraid that I mustâ€™ve been drinking from Yankee Joeâ€™s glass.”
SAMANTHA: Uh, Yankee Joe. I was kidding when I called my team Queens but you seem to serious. Why?
YANKEE JOE: Before I answer, Samanthas-A-Fan, let me say that your a$$ doesn’t look fat in those pants.
SAMANTHA: Thank you, Yankee Joe!
YANKEE JOE: No problem. I know its a struggle. But to answer your question, you don’t need to look further then the last trip the Mutts took to San Francisco. Here’s a picture:
SAMANTHA: That’s just silly. Anybody could be wearing that Mr. Met suit. It could be you.
YANKEE JOE: You’re right. But have you seen this one?
SAMANTHA: Oh, come on! Piazza is married. Besides, have you seen the one of A-Rod kissing himself in the mirror?
YANKEE JOE: No. I missed that one. But I bet you have a copy.
SAMANTHA: Um… Actually? I do… But thats just to rub in your face.
YANKEE JOE: Right. Sure… I get it. By the way, did you see this one?
SAMANTHA: Now you’re reaching. John Maine is NOT a Queen!
YANKEE JOE: Then somebody better tell the old Queen thats rubbing his head.
SAMANTHA: Ha! That’s funny. But your way off base.
YANKEE JOE: Really? Then how do you explain this one?
SAMANTHA: They aren’t with the team anymore. One is out of baseball and one is with the Nats – I think.
YANKEE JOE: Next you’ll be telling me that Adam Lambert isn’t gay. But speaking of the Nationals, try this on for size.
SAMANTHA: Paul LoDuca got busted for hanging with a female minor. He’s straight.
YANKEE JOE: You didn’t defend your third baseman.
SAMANTHA: That’s just ridiculous. So is all this talk. Maybe Yankee fans are homophobes but Met fans arent.
YANKEE JOE: Then how do you explain this? It was taken when those rumors were dogging the Mutts.
SAMANTHA: You are a jerk, Yankee Schmoe.
YANKEE JOE: Your entitled to your opinion, Samantha. Lets rap this up.
SAMATHA: Yes. Lets.
YANKEE JOE: Yeah. I gotta go. Yankees are going for 7 in a row and I have tix. Going to Monument Park first.
SAMANTHA: Have a good time.
YANKEE JOE: Will do. Hey, the Mutts have a new monument. Check it out:
SAMANTHA: I’m at of here!
YANKEE JOE: THE YANKEES WIN!!!
END OF INTERVIEW
Thank you to the Matts for helping me this. My grammar and tech skills arent up to there speed yet.